Inches Away
by CrystalBrooke
Summary: Do you know," Jared said slowly. "I've sat next to you all year and I haven't a clue what your name is?" My heart sank. Of course he had no idea who I was. I was stupid to think every feeling I had was reciprocated. Kim/Jared. My 1st fanfic!
1. Intense Gazes

A werewolf love story…

I sat next to Jared for years, and he barely looked at me twice.

But why would he? I was just Kim; plain and boring. He was popular, he was really gorgeous, and guys like him don't go for girls like me. It broke my heart though. Every day he would sit next to me, shouting to his friends across the classroom, completely ignoring me. I don't even think he knew my name.

Every day I opened up my homework journal, careful not to let the front cover fall open and reveal the words I had etched onto it: 'Kim 4 Jared'.

I fantasised about him standing up in front of the whole class and announcing that he was in love with me. I imagined him seeing my journal, going quiet for a moment, before showing me the exact same words etched onto his journal. I know these were pathetic daydreams, but they were all that kept me going. He was sitting right next to me, so close that I could touch, but yet I knew I never could.

I tried to move on and date other boys, but that plan failed miserably. Boys don't like me. I wasn't stunningly beautiful, with big breasts and long blonde hair, and I couldn't make rude jokes to make them laugh, like some of the girls in my class, who always seemed to have permanent boyfriends. I was just average looking, the type of person you'd walk past and not look twice at.

I was also crushingly boring. I could never think of a single interesting thing to say. I could be intelligent when it comes to school work, which I threw myself into to distract me from my hopeless daydreaming. I came into school every day just so I could see Jared and hope that maybe today would be the day he'd look at me. When it became apparent that it wouldn't, I concentrated on school; anything to distract me from the pain of loving someone who doesn't know you exist.

I'm not trying to sound like a stalker when I say this, but I knew loads about him. Whenever he'd have a conversation with his friends, I'd listen intently, picking out facts about him. I knew stuff he loved, and stuff he hated, what people he liked and who he didn't like, who his friends were, and any other things he saw as irrelevant details in his life. They were interesting to me.

Sometimes I wished he was just turn around and notice me listening. Maybe then he would realise that there was someone else who did care about what he thought, a lot. But he never turned around.

He stopped coming into school for a while. A depression hung over me like a black cloud; persistent, ominous, dark. I lay in bed, watching the time, getting later and later for school but wondering what the point of it would be. I realised, pathetically, that I hadn't really a life outside daydreaming about Jared. That thought made me even more depressed.

Without Jared sitting next to me in the classroom, I was invisible. No one looked at me, no one talked to me, and it was as though my seat was empty. At least people looked in my general direction when Jared was near. My depression deepened. I felt as though I was treading water - barely - on an open sea. There was only the horizon ahead, no signs of rescue. I could either sink into the ocean, which was the easy choice. Just sink into oblivion, because no one would miss me anyway. Or I could keep struggling to keep my head above the water, just in case a lifeboat decided to drift by.

I kept struggling, even though it was getting harder.

And then he came back to school. He had changed, dramatically. His hair was shorn, and he was an extra foot taller. He wore a short sleeved shirt, which emphasised his gigantic muscles. I couldn't stop staring.

Maybe he could sense that I was staring, I don't know. But he glanced at me, briefly, as he took his seat. And then he froze. I couldn't believe it when his eyes slid back onto mine, holding my gaze. He looked completely overwhelmed by something that I couldn't imagine, shocked and excited at the same time. As he continued to gaze hungrily at me, I thought about maybe saying something cool, or witty, just anything, instead of staring at him like an idiot. But I was speechless.

You can dream and dream for something with all your heart, but when it finally comes true, by some way of a miracle, you can't help trying to convince yourself it's still a dream, and can't really be happening.

I thought I was daydreaming again. Jared was gazing at me as though seeing me for the first time, and his eyes were filled with emotions I was sure were figments of my imagination; adoration, commitment. I couldn't really be seeing these things. I was only seeing them because I wanted so badly to see them there.

I blushed under the intensity of his gaze, and looked away. I stared at the book lying open on my desk, trying to absorb what I had just seen. And then he spoke.

"Hi."

My head snapped up, completely shocked. I couldn't keep the sceptical surprise off my face; there was no way he was talking to me. Jared had never once spoken to me. Why would everything change, now, in one instant? I hadn't changed. He had, it appeared, but it still didn't make any sense to me. What was so special about me?

"Hi," I said, blushing furiously. My heart was thudding so loudly I was sure he could hear it. My palms were sweaty. It was ridiculous. He was still staring at me, and even though I had dreamed he would for so long, I wanted him to look away.

"Do you know," he said slowly. "I've sat next to you for all these years and I haven't a clue what your name is?"

My heart sank. Of course he had no idea who I was. I was stupid to think he had secretly fantasised about me, and every feeling I had was reciprocated, and he was just shy. I quickly fell down from the high his gaze had given me. He must be feeling guilty, because he's just realised he doesn't know me, I thought. I expected everything to go back to normal after today, except I would now be haunted by the adoration I believed I saw in his eyes.

"Kim," I mumbled, dropping his gaze. I found I couldn't stop looking at his muscles, so I forced my eyes to fix on the desk in front of me.

"Kim," he repeated, staring into space for some unfathomable reason. "I'm Jared."

"I know," I said, so quietly he couldn't possibly have heard me.

He was silent, but I could still feel his gaze on my face. I kept waiting to wake up in my bedroom, and find out this was all a dream. It was too surreal. I stared at the desk for as long as I could, but I began to feel uncomfortable. I was sure he knew I knew he was staring at me, and I thought it seemed rude if I didn't look up at me. So, somewhat reluctantly, I turned my face to his again and caught his eye.

He smiled at me.

I felt my breath catch in my throat. He was so gorgeous when he smiled, and even though I had seen him smile before, I had never been on the receiving end. I was breathless, and completely stunned. I was completely mesmerised by him, and I had the strangest feeling that he felt exactly the same.

When the bell rang, I jumped out of my seat, desperate to be alone somewhere and cool down. I could feel his eyes on me the whole lesson, and I couldn't keep my concentration. Instead of slumping forward on his side of the desk like usual, he had sat back in his seat, quite close to me, gazing at me. Some kind of heat had been radiating from him the whole time, and I couldn't be sure if I had been imagining that too, or whether it was actually real.

I fumbled as I tried to pick up my books, and they slipped through my fingers and crashed onto the floor. Embarrassed, I knelt down to pick them up, and couldn't withhold my gasp of shock, when suddenly, he was at my side.

"Let me help you," he said, flashing me a grin, and his hand brushed against mine as he stretched for my books. I pulled it back immediately, as a scorching heat enveloped my hand from where he had touched me.

"Oh!" I exclaimed, grabbing at my hand in surprise. It wasn't burnt or anything, but a reminder of his touch lingered there.

"Sorry," he said, immediately concerned. "I forgot how hot I am."

I spluttered incoherently for a moment, wondering whether he was being sarcastic, or vain, or mocking, or actually serious. I gave up, confused. He handed me my books, and I took them from him, muttering a thanks. We straightened up. My heart leapt. We were the only ones left in the classroom; everyone else had been dying to get home.

"I could carry your books to your car, if you want," he offered. I gawped at him. I had to be dreaming. Jared had never once looked at me, or smiled at me, or spoken to me, and now it was happening all in the same day. I thought I was going to explode.

"I don't own a car," I managed to choke out. "I walk."

"Then I insist on giving you a lift."

I stared at him in shock, before snapping myself out of it. He must think I'm an idiot. I keep staring at him like he's the only guy I've ever spoken to. I'm embarrassing myself.

"You don't have to," I stammered. "I'm sure you've more important things to be doing."

His expression shifted suddenly, and became one of intense sincerity.

"There's nothing more important," he said.

So I nodded, half petrified, half excited, and I finally allowed myself to hope.


	2. Somewhere I Belong

I avoided the stares of my fellow students as I walked side-by-side with Jared over to his car. I could feel them judging me, speculating about why a gorgeous, popular guy like Jared was hanging out with a pathetic loser like me. I felt even more self-conscious than usual. And plus, I had the added terror that Jared would come to his senses, turn around, and apologise for wasting my time, but he had other things to be doing.

I didn't count myself as a very religious person. I didn't really believe in God, but I was praying that for once, he would allow me to feel happiness, and finally give me what I desired. Someone to love, who loved me back. Someone like Jared.

I watched in disbelief as Jared opened the passenger door for me, relieving me of my schoolbag and books at the same time. He placed them carefully in the backseat as though they were priceless artefacts. I climbed into the car, trying not to be awkward and clumsy about it. I was still waiting for my alarm clock to wake me up.

Jared got into the driver seat, surprisingly graceful for someone of his size. I tried very hard not to gaze openly at his muscles. I stared out of the windshield into the disbelieving eyes of a group of the cool, pretty girls of my class. I looked away quickly. They intimidated me. I know it's stupid to let other people influence you, but I didn't have an awful lot of self-belief in the first place.

"What's your favourite band?" Jared asked me suddenly. Everything faded into the background at his voice, and all I could concentrate on was him. He was watching me again. It seemed, although I didn't dare believe it, that he couldn't take his eyes of me. I wrestled with this ridiculous notion, determined to rid it from my mind. I was letting myself hope, and pray, but I was afraid of going too far, and getting my hopes up too high. I'd only have further to fall.

"Linkin Park," I admitted, reluctant to do so, in case it wasn't his style of music at all. I couldn't lie, though. I could relate with Linkin Park's music so well, and it felt as though they gained inspiration for their songs from the depths of my soul. I could especially relate to the lyrics of the song, 'Somewhere I Belong'.

_I wanna heal/ I wanna feel/ what I thought was never real/ I wanna find something I__'__ve wanted all along, somewhere I belong__…_

I did want to find a place I felt I could fit in, without being judged. I wanted a place where I could forget about my martyred feelings for a while, somewhere I could be happy. And I was amazed and shocked to find that I felt… better, when I was with Jared. I didn't want to be apart from him, not after this. There would be no way I would be able to go back to normal, to the way everything had been for the past few years. I'd never be able to move on now.

Jared's face fell. "Oh no. I don't have any of their albums with me. I'm sorry," he said, sighing. He looked so forlorn and unhappy about this, that I immediately felt the urge to comfort him.

"It's OK," I assured him hastily. "Don't worry about it."

He nodded, flashing me another heart-stopping smile. He started the engine and pulled out of the space. I gave him directions to my house and sat back in silence. My house wasn't that far away; no longer than twenty minutes on foot, and I wanted to savour every moment of this miracle. Jared was driving me home. I still couldn't quite believe it, but everything had taken on a realistic edge to it. It was real, and there was no point denying it.

I was a little furious with myself. I have daydreamed about something like this happening for so long, and the day it finally happens, I keep trying to convince myself I wasn't real. Was I trying to make myself even more miserable? I didn't like the way I had dismissed the truly miraculous things as fictional; the way he stared at me, the way he had said there was nothing more important than me. Why was I accepting the daydream, but not the reality?

I pulled myself out of these thoughts. They were distracting me from the present. To my horror, I realised I was sweating. I hoped my deodorant was still working. It was roasting hot in the small car, even though it was quite a mild day. I couldn't understand where all the heat was coming from, but I felt uncomfortable, as though I was going to pass out.

"Jared, would you mind if I opened a window?" I asked hesitantly, unable to stop me from fanning myself with my hand.

Jared almost crashed the car into a tree, in his haste to reach across me and open my window for me. I stared at him. Surely that was a bit of an overreaction, I thought to myself. I was perfectly capable of opening windows. I just wanted to be polite.

He had gone a little red, so I refrained from mentioning it, in fear of embarrassing him. I closed my eyes as the welcome breeze fanned my face, breathing in a lungful of fresh air. It cleared my mind of my worries and doubts, for a few moments at least.

"Are you still too warm?" Jared asked, a worried and concerned tone in his voice, one I couldn't understand. Judging by his behaviour, it appeared as though he would do anything for me, no matter how trivial it was. But then again, maybe I was over-analysing it.

"I'm fine," I said, smiling tentatively at him. I was still unsure how to act around him. I was unsure about what he thought about me, and why everything was different today. I didn't know whether to be myself, even though being myself has never worked for me in the past, or whether to be like one of the girls in my class; witty, clever, confident, loud. But I knew I'd never pull it off. He'd see through me and think I'm fake, and he'd be exactly right.

He smiled back at me, so warmly it was as though we had been friends for years. And there was an easy familiarity between us. I had not for one second felt awkward around him, or felt the need to fill in any silences with mendacities or irrelevances. I guess it was because he was just… a part of me, and my life, even though my feelings had been unrequited. I felt comfortable with him, and I hoped he felt the same.

**Hey!! Oh my gosh, thank u SO much for ur reviews - ur all amazing!! Of course I****'****m gonna keep writing - this is nowhere near finished - there****'****s still so much I want to write about, and there****'****ll be appearances from all the werewolves, including Jacob, and maybe even Bella as well!! And when I****'****m finally done, I might even write it all from Jared****'****s point of view!! Keep reading and reviewing please, love u lots!! Xxx CB**


	3. Pyjamas

**I apologise for the underlining - i don't no what the hell happened!! Please forgive!! xxx**

I pointed out the small dirt road that led to my house as we neared it. I tried hard to negate the feelings of shame I had, as Jared parked the car in front of my old, weather-beaten bungalow. It was practically dilapidated, and something was always going wrong with it every week; a leak in the roof, an explosion in the wiring, or something similar in that effect. Jared lived in a shiny house, expensive and modern. I realised the contrast between him and me this seemed to point out, and felt a small needle of depression shoot through my hope.

I wasn't good enough for him. I was nowhere near his league, and I never would be. I tried to think positive, as I climbed out of the car, trying to convince myself to enjoy his company while it lasted, but I couldn't stop the crushing waves of disappointment and misery that washed over me.

Moving faster than I ever thought possible, or maybe I just wasn't paying attention, Jared was out of the car and by my side. He retrieved my books and bag and I took them from him.

"Thanks," I said, smiling shyly at him.

"No problem," he replied, and his sincerity rang true in every syllable. I made the mistake of looking into his eyes, and immediately became lost in them. They were a beautiful, deep sapphire blue, reminding me of an ocean hiding many treasures. They held my gaze, also searching for something within my hazel eyes. I was mesmerised by his eyes, barely able to tear mine away from the intensity of his stare.

But I forced myself to drop my head and look at the ground. I would have loved to have stood there and gawped at him all day, but he had a life, unlike me, and I was not a huge part in it. I was a minor disruption, something he felt remorseful about, because he had made no effort to get to know me in all these years. He didn't need me gaping at him like an idiot.

"Um," I said, swallowing. I could still feel his gaze on me. "I'd better…get inside."

"Can I come in?"

I froze, unable to believe that those four words had just come out of his mouth. I literally could not believe it. I must have imagined it. There was no way Jared wanted to come into my house, and talk to me. I raised my head slowly, focussing on his face, trying not to dwell on his eyes too long, in case I found myself utterly incoherent again.

"What?"

"Can I come in?" he repeated, enunciating every word slowly, a hint of a smirk on his face.

I opened and closed my mouth a couple of times, in the manner of a goldfish, before my brain remembered how to structure a sentence. "Sure," I stammered, "if you want to?" I hadn't meant it to sound like a question. He nodded, a smile slowly spreading across his face. He looked as though there was nothing else in the world he'd rather be doing. Dazzled, disorientated, my heart beating rapidly, I turned around and led Jared to my front door.

He lit up my whole kitchen. It was something I had only pictured in my most extreme daydreams; him inside my house, doing nothing in particular. He was lounging on a seat at the kitchen table, looking around interestedly. But his eyes fixed on me regularly, as though he couldn't stop himself. Every time I caught his eye, there wasn't a trace of embarrassment on his face.

There was something in his expression I couldn't understand, yet recognised: awe. I had absolutely no clue why he would be staring at me like that. There was nothing remarkable or extraordinary about me, so I couldn't figure out what is was about me that inspired that look in his eyes. It didn't make any sense.

My cat, Chaos, burst into the room, erupting in yowls. I looked up in time to see Jared throwing him a dirty look.

"Do you not like cats?" I asked, worried he may be allergic.

"Let's just say, I prefer dogs," he said, grinning widely, making me feel as though I was missing a vital part of the joke. I nodded confusedly, and went about getting Chaos his dinner, trying to act as though the bloody cat's ear-splitting yowls weren't embarrassing, despite me wanting to kick the cat around the place.

Once Chaos was munching away, I sat opposite Jared on the table. I couldn't think of a single thing to talk about. Nothing interesting had happened to me recently, excluding the miracle of today. However, no awkward silence descended, and he continued to stare at me as though I was the most fascinating thing in his world. I stared back, unable to resist, but also kept lowering my eyes, blushing under the power of his gaze.

"Kim," he said suddenly, and my heart sped up at the sound of his voice. I forced myself to look up at him. It was crazy. I had spent so long staring at him, and I knew every inch of his features off by heart. Yet, I couldn't handle it when he stared at me, and I was unable to hold his gaze for more than a few seconds. I guess I just felt unworthy of him, really.

"Yeah?" I asked, my voice shaking slightly. I hoped he didn't notice. I felt extremely shy, and there was still an element of magic about this whole day that a part of me found unable to believe. I was afraid Jared would just fade away, like a mirage when you get too close to it.

"I have to tell you something," he said. His tone was serious, his expression grim. He looked as though he was reluctant to tell me whatever it was. I immediately jumped to the worst conclusion. He wanted to leave. He was regretting ever speaking to me, and giving me a lift home. And the stupid, stupid idiot that I am, I kept seeing things that weren't really there. I nodded at him, my mouth dry, my heart thudding erratically, waves of depression attacking me again.

Jared took a deep breath. He opened his mouth, but closed it again, changing his mind. He stared at me for a few more minutes before speaking.

"Would you object if I began spending a lot more time with you?" he asked, tilting his head to one side in the most adorable way. I was stunned into silence, firstly by how inexplicably gorgeous he was, and secondly by the words he had spoken. I stared at him, my mouth hanging open, running over the words in my head.

I closed my mouth and swallowed. "No," I whispered, unable to coax my voice to project any louder. I'd become incapable of speech.

He smiled at me, and I was mesmerised once again by his beauty. I smiled back, unable to keep the hope and quiet happiness off my face. A frisson of electricity sparkled in the space between us.

I don't know how long Jared and I sat there, memorising each other's faces. We didn't feel the need to talk; the heavy eye contact revealed more than what our voices could say. The electricity refused to fade, and I felt lightning bolts of excitement in my stomach every time in happened. I was trembling slightly, unable to control the subtle involuntary jerks, not because I was afraid or cold, but because the unspoken connection between us sent shivers up and down my spine.

But none of it was bad. It was a really, really good feeling.

And then I heard my mother's jeep pull up outside the house. I froze in a state of panic, before jumping out of my seat. Jared imitated me. God only knows what my mother would say if she found a guy in the house at this time. It was late at night. I hadn't even noticed the sun setting. The kitchen was dark and gloomy.

"Go out the back door," I told him, and he nodded. I walked him there, and he gave me one last look before vanishing into the night.

My mother called my name as she opened the door. I felt a wave of guilt shame me. My father had died when I was younger, and left my mother with very little to bring me up on. My mom had to work two jobs during the day, having to leave early in the morning and return home very late at night. I usually had dinner waiting for her, along with a tidy house, but my breakfast things were still by the sink.

"Hey, mom," I called back, flicking on some lights and joining my mom in the now bright kitchen. My eyes took a while to adjust. "Sorry, I've nothing made. I was studying for school and I didn't notice the time."

My mother waved her hand dismissively. "It's fine, I had a big lunch. Although, that's not like you, Kim," she said, eyeing my suspiciously. I flushed and looked at the ground. A wave of exhaustion swept over me. It had been a draining day, emotionally. There was so much I had to process in my head, and I felt as though I would explode if I wasn't alone in the next five minutes.

"I'm going to bed," I said. "Goodnight."

"Night, love."

I hurried into my room, breathing a sigh of relief as I closed the door. I got ready for bed automatically, my mind still on Jared (who else?). I remembered every single second of his gazes, all the emotions I had discerned but still didn't completely believe, all the unbelievable things he had said to me, which I had only ever imagined him saying. The way he had smiled at me.

As I lay in bed, I wondered would anything ever be the same again. I doubted it. But I wanted everything to remain as it was right now. It was everything I had ever dreamed of… only better, because now it was real.

Jared's face loomed up in my mind, and instead of the longing and the ache that usually accompanied my thoughts of him, the electricity that had surged between us streaked through me again. I tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable, unable to keep still, as the thought of seeing Jared again tomorrow filled me with a bubble of happiness so strong it almost lifted me into the air.

I struggled from unconsciousness, opening my eyes, trying to see through the gloom. It was pitch black, and I couldn't figure out what had woken me. Glancing at the my luminous alarm clock, I groaned and rolled over. It was three in the morning. It would take me ages to fall back asleep, and I'd be comatose in school the next morning. I snuggled deeper into the duvet.

And then I heard what had awoken me.

It was a rap on my window, soft, yet persistent. I leapt out of bed, still half asleep, not completely thinking about what I was doing. It could have been some psycho at my window with the intent to kill me and I still would have opened my curtains to see who it was. But there was only one person I believed (anything was possible now) would be at my window in the middle of the night.

I pulled back the curtains, and there he was, outside my window, grinning widely. The awe and wonder was apparent in his eyes again. He was also shirtless. My mouth was dry as I fumbled with the latch on the window, not taking my eyes off his for a second. I stood back as he climbed in. A blast of icy air hit me, chilling me until he closed the window behind him.

"Hi," he said, grinning down at me. I half smiled back, wondering if I was dreaming. His torso was muscly and toned, and I had to use all of my self control not to gape openly at his chest.

"Hi," I said, and shivered violently. His expression shifted to concern.

"Are you cold?" he asked, and finally tore his eyes away from mine. A wicked grin spread slowly across his face as he looked me up and down. "I like your pyjamas," he said, his eyes twinkling.

I looked down, and realised with a small shock that I was wearing my tiny vest top and tiny matching shorts. They were strictly for bedtime, and no one else's eyes. I felt my cheeks burning.

"Oh my God," I said, dying of shame. I was sure my dressing gown was in the wash, and I didn't want to turn around in case I gave him an eyeful. I mentally cursed myself for neglecting the washing today. I couldn't stop myself as I shivered again. I felt vulnerable and exposed, and of course, mortified.

"Don't worry about it," he said, a teasing tone to his voice. "I'll warm you up." My head snapped up and I stared at him in disbelief, unsure how to interpret what he had just said. He gazed into my eyes again, and his humour faded slowly away. He stepped extremely close to me, and my breathing became quick and shallow. He seemed hesitant, almost as though he was giving me the option to push him away if I wanted to. There wasn't a chance of that happening.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and linked them at the small of my back, dragging me closer to him. I was finding breathing very difficult, and my heart was throwing itself against my ribs. I was afraid to touch him, in case he vanished suddenly, and I was clutching at thin air. But I was too close, and I didn't want to pull away.

I placed my arms against his chest, and jumped as his blazing hot skin connected with mine.

"Jesus," I muttered, ignoring his quiet chuckles. "Do you have a temperature or something?"

"Only after seeing you in those pyjamas," he said, sniggering at his own joke. I stiffened, humiliation washing over me, burning my cheeks again.

"I'm only messing," he said, pulling me closer still. I rested my cheek against his boiling skin, relaxing as the heat completely eradicated my chills. Jared rested his head on my shoulder. I closed my eyes, letting the feelings of pure bliss take me over. This was something I had never imagined would ever happen, even though I had dreamt of it countless times. I never ever thought for one second that I would be in his arms.

I wanted to stay like that forever, but the heat got too much for me, and I had to pull away.

"Was there any particular reason for you breaking into my house?" I asked, beaming up at him. His expression mirrored mine, and he seemed truly overjoyed about something.

"There were many," he said. "I couldn't sleep, number one. And I couldn't stop thinking about you. It was driving me crazy, so I came here," he said, gazing with adoration into my eyes. I thrilled to his words.

"I see," I said, unable to come up with anything witty. I wanted to tell him how I felt, but I was so worried that if I confessed, he would reject me, or tell me it was just a bet, or something that would shatter my heart. But I knew, that even if he broke my heart, I would still never stop loving him. It's funny like that, when someone can break your heart, but you still love them with all the little pieces.

"I can't stay away from you," Jared said suddenly, his good mood vanishing into one of seriousness. "I want to know how you feel about that. There's something that I need to explain to you, but I won't right this minute - you look wrecked, no offence." He winked at me. "But I need to know…" he trailed off, staring at me so intently I couldn't look away, even if I had wanted to.

"I… I have no objections," I said, incapable of revealing my true feelings. I was still terrified; of rejection, of the pain I'd have to endure; of waking up and finding out that every thing from the moment he first looked at me had been a dream.

He nodded. Then suddenly, he scooped me up in his arms. It took a great effort not to yell out loud; I didn't want to alert my mother. Our faces were so close together, and my skin was burning from where his skin was in contact with mine. I found breathing to be very difficult again.

"Jared!" I exclaimed. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Putting you back to bed," he said, carrying me over to my bed and lying me down on it, gently throwing the covers back over me.

"I can walk," I grumbled, and Jared grinned at my tone. His smile stunned my mind. He was just so bloody gorgeous. Exhaustion washed over me, and I was unable to prevent my eyes from closing, despite wanting to stare at Jared all night.

"Goodnight," he said, brushing my hair away from my forehead gently.

"Night," I mumbled, and my heart leapt as I felt his warm lips against my cheek.

**Hope u enjoyed it!! Please review!! **

**Loads of love, CB xxx **


	4. Choices

**Hey! First of all I want to sincerely apologise for the underlining and stuff in chapter 3 (whoopsie!!) - I shall not be so clumsy again!! Am v. embarrassed and feel like spazz! And second, thank u lot SO, SO much 4 ur reviews - u all ROCK and make me :) enjoy!! xxx**

I woke up slowly, feeling the sunlight warm my face and press gently against my eyelids. Flashes of something glorious - perhaps a dream? - trickled back to me. I stretched luxuriously in bed, smiling to myself - until I heard a noise that made me freeze. It was like a shuffling sound across the floor, and my heart sped up, imagining horrors like giant snakes, or some bloody corpse dragging itself towards my bed. My eyes snapped open and I sat bolt upright.

Jared was sprawled across my floor, fast asleep. His mouth was open and he was snoring quietly, his arms spread-eagled; his legs were twitching slightly, almost like a dog running in his sleep, which explained the shuffling noise, as his jeans scuffed against the wooden floor. I stared in shock for a moment, my hand clamped over my mouth. But the hilarity of the scene struck me, and I had to stuff my fist in my mouth to keep myself from giggling out loud.

I gazed at him for a while, studying every inch of his muscled torso, his beautiful face. I was free to watch until my heart's content, and that I did. He didn't wake in all the time I stared at him. Eventually, I decided to get up and get dressed. I tiptoed around him, grabbing some clothes and escaping to the bathroom to throw them on.

Any other Saturday, I would just laze around the house, reading books and watching TV shows, always the kinds that had happy-ever-afters, and the dreams had come true, and the soul mates who finally ended up together. I never thought I would ever say it, but my life was suddenly much more interesting than my favourite book or programme. There was a half-naked, gorgeous guy lying asleep on the floor in my bedroom. You couldn't get more exciting, really.

Once I was dressed and presentable, I returned to my room. I hoped he wouldn't sleep all day, as my mother only worked a half day on Saturdays. I sat crossed-legged on my bed and continued to watch him.

I knew there was something he wanted to tell me, and I could instinctively feel it was something important, something huge. He was procrastinating, I could see that much. I couldn't figure out what it was, but I had the feeling it wasn't something too terrible. I could handle anything he told me, if it meant I could still spend time with him. Yesterday, and last night, were firmly imprinted in my memory, and I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to forget them.

I was in love with Jared. I had been forever, and I knew my feelings were too strong for them to ever truly fade. But I felt as though I was standing on the very edge of a cliff; there was so far to fall if I didn't find the reason to turn around. How did Jared feel about me? What made everything change so suddenly? Questions tortured my heart as they whirred around in my head, accumulating no answers.

His eyes opened, and they fixed immediately on me.

I felt a smile spread across my face, as my worries diminished slightly, yet still there in the back of my mind. His answering smile was lazy, and he sat up stiffly, stretching and flexing his muscles. I tried very hard not to look.

"Your back must be broken," I observed, eyeing the wooden floor. He can't have been very comfortable.

"I've slept in worse places," he said, standing up so quickly I was startled.

A ball of nerves and excitement was clenched tightly in my stomach. I had no idea what he was planning to do for the day, or even if he wanted to spend it with me. I wondered if he would tell me his big secret, or drag it out for a few more days. I didn't mind, as long as he didn't leave me.

"I'm starving," he announced.

"I have cereal," I suggested, my pulse racing at the thought of having breakfast with him.

"Cool," he said, and held out his hand. I stared at it stupidly for a second, before I realised I was supposed to take it. I slipped my hand into his massive hand, which was quite rough and dry, and also very warm. I wondered if he was ever cold. I would have dwelled on the possible reasons why he was so warm all the time, but they seemed far too trivial to me.

He led me downstairs and into my kitchen. I fetched bowls and spoons and milk while he decided on the cereal we would eat. It felt like a routine we'd been rehearsing for years; it was so natural and effortless. I felt at ease with him.

He passed me the cereal first, and I filled my bowl, taking extra care not to spill it all over the floor. I could feel his eyes watching me with fascination, and I couldn't for the life of me fathom what was so fascinating about me preparing cereal. About me, full stop.

I returned the cereal to him, and added milk to my bowl before passing that along too. I couldn't get over the familiarity. It was almost like this time last week, I hadn't been secretly fantasising about him, and I hadn't been haunted by the dark cloud that hovered over my head. It felt like my life had always been like this, and I kept having to pinch myself and remind me that this was a daydream come true.

I watched with my eyebrows raised as Jared filled the bowl with cereal to the very brim. He then carefully poured milk in, but the density was too much for the bowl and cereal overflowed from the top and onto the table. I hid my smile behind my hand, as Jared rolled his eyes exasperatedly.

"What?" he demanded, noticing my poorly concealed smirk.

"Nothing," I said, innocently.

"I meant to do that, you know."

"I'm sure you did," I said, my stomach hurting from repressing my amusement.

We stared into each other's eyes for a moment, and simultaneously exploded into laughter.

After watching as Jared demolished the entire box of cereal in astonishment, I suggested we go for a walk, just to get out of the house. He seemed in no hurry to go anywhere else, and he also seemed extremely happy about this suggestion. I knew he would have to leave again at some point, and I was always on the lookout for it, just so I could prepare myself. It was stupid, instead of just enjoying the moments when he was with me. I was so busy waiting for the bad things to happen, I kept forgetting to appreciate the amazing.

As I closed the front door behind us, I noticed the driveway was empty.

"Where's your car?" I asked him.

"At home," he said, surprised.

"Then how did you get here last night?"

"I ran," he said, shrugging, as though running a couple of miles to my house was something he did everyday. I wanted to question him further, but decided not to press the issue. I was the type of person who accepted things without question, even though I didn't always fully understand.

We entered the woods behind my house. The thick canopy of trees blocked out most of the sunlight, bar a few twinkling rays which illuminated small areas of the forest floor. I was silent, as I listened to the birds singing, the squirrels and rabbits making their cute little squeaky noises, and the leaves blowing in the wind. I kept my eyes on Jared's tanned back, as he kicked logs and thorny bushes out of my path. I hated myself for playing the same record over and over again in my head, but I still couldn't break away from the thought of it all being an elaborate dream.

He stopped suddenly, and I nearly walked into him. I wobbled unsteadily on the uneven ground, and I had to grab his muscled arm in an attempt to stay upright. His head turned at my touch, and he quickly span around to catch my back with his other hand. He didn't let me go, even after I had regained my footing. My heart was beating loudly, and I could feel the blood pounding in my ears.

"Thanks," I breathed, unable to find my voice.

"Anytime," he said sincerely, smiling down at me.

He kept his arm around my waist.

We walked a little further, not speaking; there was nothing that needed to be said. I felt like I was floating. Jared's skin was scorching, as usual, and all I could think about was the fact he _wanted_ to be this close to me, he _wanted_ to hold me. I could find no negative explanation this time. There was no reason he could be just doing it as an obligation to me, because why would he want to make us both suffer? Of course, that part of me that still wanted to deny that this was happening wanted to believe that, but I wouldn't let it. I wanted to believe in the reality now.

We stopped for a rest, sitting down on two small tree trunks opposite each other. I noticed Jared kept running his fingers through his hair. He looked nervous, apprehensive; immediately I began to feel the same, sensing he was about to tell me his secret. I tensed where I was sitting. He noticed, and gazed at me for a long time.

"I need to tell you something," he said finally.

I nodded, bracing myself. I could see from his expression, from his eyes, that this was big news, and I was going to try and be as open-minded as possible.

"Have… have you ever heard of a phenomenon called _imprinting_?" he asked, scrutinising my face carefully.

I frowned as I thought, wondering where this was going. "Not really," I said. "It's something to do with animals or something, isn't it?"

"Yes and no," he said, not taking his eyes off me. "It's like a really strong form of attachment. There isn't anything more important than the one imprinted upon; everything else seems trivial, pointless. It's stronger than love. Stronger than anything, really. You want to do anything you can for them; protect them, make them smile, become what they need you to be. In return, they light up your whole life." He smiled at me. I realised I had frozen. I felt numb, unsure what to think or feel.

"And what… does that have to do with… us?" I asked, struggling for words.

The powerful, intense look came into his eyes again, the one I couldn't resist, the one I couldn't look away from.

"It happened to me," he said.

I just stared at him. I couldn't feel anything; not the wind, or my heart beating. I couldn't understand. There was too much to take in, and my brain felt scrambled. It wasn't functioning properly. But he was still staring at me, his face worried, and I forced myself to speak.

"How would that be possible?" I asked stiffly, and he seemed even more anxious by my formality. An urge to throw my arms around him attacked me, but I couldn't move.

"Well… OK, please don't freak out," he said, fidgeting. I knew my reaction was making things worse for him, and making it harder for him to tell me, but I couldn't control my actions anymore. The part of me who had begged me to believe this was a daydream was laughing at me now, taunting me, telling me I was a fool to think this was real. This was obviously some kind of dream; I couldn't find reality.

"I'm a werewolf," he said. His face was now deadpanned, and I couldn't discern a single emotion in his face. I felt sick, because it was my fault he was regretting opening up to me. I loved him so much, and every part of me ached to just accept his words without question, like I usually would. But I was afraid to. I was afraid of the consequences. I was afraid of the truth.

"OK," I said. "And because you're a werewolf, you imprinted on me?" He nodded, and I could see a tiny light of hope in his eyes.

Suddenly, in a burst of knowledge, I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to believe him. Everything he had said; all about wanting to protect me and make me happy, was everything I had ever wanted. Everything and more. I wasn't prepared to throw that away, especially not because of my pathetic doubts. I would no longer be the reason for the black cloud over my head.

I was about to tell him that I didn't care what he was, and I loved him. But something horrifying occurred to me before I could. I felt like I had been doused in icy cold water. The thought was so painful and harsh, and there was too much truth in it to ignore. My heart exploded in pain, and I stood up and began to walk away from Jared.

His arm caught me around my waist before I had taken two steps.

"Kim, don't go, I need to explain," he said urgently, his voice also doused in pain and fear. I hated the tone to his voice, but I couldn't comfort him; I was hurting too much.

"Let me go," I begged, struggling. Tears began to slid down my cheeks, blurring my vision so that I could barely see. He let me go, but followed me as I stumbled back down the way we had come.

"Kim, please listen to me. I love you," he said.

I stopped dead. So many emotions washed over me. I never thought I'd hear him say those words. And I believed him, which was what hurt the most. Every part of me screamed at me to stay with him, to turn around and tell him I loved him too. But I couldn't ignore what I felt, what was destroying me.

"Only because you have no choice," I said, my tears coming thick and fast now. "You have no choice but to love me now. But you never wanted me before, and if this hadn't have happened to you, you never would have loved me."

I began to run away from him. He didn't follow me. I didn't know what was going through his mind. All I could think of was the fact that he had no choice in loving me, which meant he would never have chosen me under normal circumstances. He never wanted me, and he never would have. I knew he loved me now, but I couldn't rid the fact from my mind that in the real world, we were never meant to be.

My face crumpled when I reached my front door, and heard the long howl of pain coming from the depths of the woods.

I spent the rest of the day in my bed, crying hopeless tears. I pretended to my mother I was sick and asked not be disturbed. I could usually tell my mother anything, as she was the only one I had in the world who I could depend on absolutely. But she'd send me straight to the mental hospital if I told her I was in love with a werewolf, but he only loved me because he had to.

That wasn't what you heard in the end of fairytales. Cinderella and Prince Charming got married, but Prince Charming only did it because he had to, because the slipper had fit. There was supposed to be an element of love at first sight, when the two people caught a glimpse of each other for the very first time, and then slowly fell in love. That had happened to me when I first saw Jared, but it was only one-sided.

If my life was a fairytale, the script was all wrong.

I didn't bother to get up and close the curtains, preferring the watch the sunset behind the trees through my window, the sky changing from blue to pink to navy blue, and finally to black. I watched the trees sometimes, and kept imagining I saw a figure emerging from them, perhaps Jared coming to say… but what could he say? There was nothing he could tell me that would make me feel better. This was beyond his control. It wasn't his fault. I wasn't even blaming him.

Maybe I didn't have a valid enough excuse for walking away from him, but I was hurting. My heart had cracked into pieces. It hurt to breathe, because all I wanted was him to make me feel better. And I knew it would only be a matter of time before he arrived, because he couldn't stay away from me for long. But I resented the fact that if I wasn't the girl he had imprinted on, I would have spent the rest of school dreaming pointless daydreams of him declaring his love for me, and none of it would have ever, ever come true.

Somehow, I managed to drift into a restless sleep. I fell into a nightmare, as I found myself in the forest, surrounded by wolves. They were watching me intently, and every time I tried to move, they advanced a little closer. I instinctively knew that the second they got too close, they would attack. I was rooted to the spot, absolutely terrified, with nowhere to look except into their bloodthirsty eyes. I pulled myself out of the dream, opening my eyes slowly, still able to feel their eyes on me.

I jumped. Jared was outside my window, watching me. He was illuminated in the moonlight, his hair messy and windswept, still shirtless, now wearing a pair of khaki combats. He smiled when he saw me awake. I stared at him for a minute, and then rolled over until I was facing the wall. I wasn't sure how to feel about him being there.

Despite myself, however, I smiled as I heard the rap on the window. I knew I was never going to get rid of him until I let him in. I heard him laugh to himself, and then bang on the window loudly. I jumped. He'd wake my mother if he wasn't careful. I turned around and glared at him.

"My mother!" I hissed, knowing he'd be able to hear me.

He just grinned at me pointedly, and banged on the window again. I glared at him, furious, before throwing the covers off me, scowling. At least I didn't have to worry about unsuitable pyjamas, as I hadn't even bothered to change for bed when I got in. This didn't escape his notice, and his face fell slightly.

I unlatched the window and opened it for him, and stood back to let him in, my hands on my hips. He grinned at my stance as he closed the window behind him.

"Hi, Kim," he said. I smiled wryly at him, trying to ignore the way his smile and how close he was standing made my heart react. Despite the pain I felt, I noticed it had dulled immensely ever since I opened my eyes and saw him standing outside my window.

"Hello," I said.

"Look, I really want to apologise," Jared said, the words coming out in a rush. It sounded like he'd been rehearsing them the whole way here.

"Apologise for what?" I asked, interrupting the no doubt speech he'd been about to deliver.

"For the past," he said, after a pause. "I was ignorant, and I was shallow. I didn't have my eyes open or my brain attached. I'm different now. I've changed, I promise. And I realise now, and I still can't quite believe it, but just after spending the little time so far I have with you, I felt so comfortable with you… and I realised that you are the type of person I would have fallen for anyway."

I blushed and looked down, my heart singing. I believed him, and I decided I wouldn't let something neither of us could control get in the way anymore. A part of me was still hurt, but it would heal, eventually.

I felt his warm hand under my chin, and he tilted my head up so I had to look at him. His eyes were intense and full of awe, as he studied my face. My heart was beating extremely fast, and my breathing was fast and shallow. I could smell his musky scent, and it was making me dizzy.

Electricity surged between us again, but it was more powerful than ever. It completely took me over, and I could see from his eyes that it had affected him as strongly too. My stomach clenched from excitement and nerves, and my heat almost leapt out of my chest, as he leant down to kiss me.

The very second our lips touched, everything; all my fears and worries and doubts, simply melted away, faded to nothing. I wrapped my arms around his neck and clutched him tighter to me; his arms wrapped themselves around my waist and lifted me off the floor. The kiss was so full of passion… I forget where I was, who I was, I lost all concept of time…

In what felt far too soon, he pulled away, breathing heavily. He rested his forehead against mine, and I closed my eyes, waiting for the world to stop spinning. He set me down gently onto the floor, and I opened my eyes. He was smiling at me, and I smiled back, feeling the happiest I'd ever felt in my life.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too," I replied, and his eyes twinkled with happiness.

So quickly I didn't see it coming, he lifted me up into his arms. I didn't even bother to object. He threw himself on top of my bed, and lay me down next to him. I rested my head on his muscly, bare chest. He was like my personal radiator.

"How come you're so hot?" I asked him.

"I work out, you know…" he joked, and I rolled my eyes.

"That's not what I meant," I said.

"Sure," he said sarcastically, and laughed. "I'm not really sure why," he said seriously. "I'm only really new to this myself." An excited look entered his eyes. "Hey! You should come with me tomorrow and meet the pack!"

"Pack?" I asked nervously.

"Yeah, Sam, Jacob - everyone! And Emily as well. She's the girl Sam imprinted on."

"Alright," I said, trying to sound confident. At least if there was another girl in my position it wouldn't be so bad. I was trying to get my head around the fact there was a pack of werewolves. Jared noticed my apprehension.

"Don't worry, they'll love you," he said, putting his arm around me.

"OK," I said, snuggling closer to him. So long as Jared was there, I didn't mind who I encountered.

We watched the sun rise over the tree tops, our minds too full with things to be happy about to speak.

**I hope u liked it - i got chills writing it!! Heehee!! Plz review, thankz!! loads of love, CB xxxxxxxxx**


	5. Hidden Talents

**Author****'****s Note: Sorry about the wait, but I was suffering from painful writer****'****s block and this chapter probably isn****'****t as good as it should be, so I****'****m sorry if it doesn****'****t live up to your expectations. Thanks a million for your reviews, everyone who left one is seriously amazing - XXX. **

I jerked awake. I was absolutely melting. I unstuck my cheek from Jared's chest and looked up at him. He was asleep. I sat up carefully, moving as slowly as I could, determined not to wake him. Unfortunately, I could see no way to escape without climbing over him. Very carefully, I sat up onto my knees. I held my breath as I swung my left leg and arm over him, praying he wouldn't wake up. I was in the process of cautiously swinging my other leg over, when a grin suddenly flashed across his face and his eyes snapped open. I froze.

"What are you up to?" he asked me, sniggering at my very provocative position on top of him. I nearly died.

"Nothing," I said hurriedly, and hastily jumped off of him, but I overbalanced and toppled onto the floor. "Ouch," I mumbled, red-faced, as Jared rolled over and peered at me over the edge of the bed, chuckling. He opened his mouth, to say something smart, no doubt, but we both froze as there was a knock on my door and it began to open slowly.

"No!" I yelled, scrambling off the floor and racing to the door, forcing it closed. "I'm not dressed, Mom!" I gasped, my heart pounding.

"OK, OK," my mother said hastily, retreating out of the room. I closed the door, telling her I'd be out in a minute. When her footsteps died away, I slid onto the ground, clutching at my heart. The amount of trouble I would have been in if she had seen Jared I couldn't bear to think about. Jared poked his head out from under the bed. I hadn't even seen him dive underneath it.

"Is she gone?" he whispered.

"Yeah," I breathed, still recovering from my near-stroke. Jared grinned at me, and swiftly rolled out from under the bed. He stood up and brushed the dust off his trousers.

"That was close," he announced.

"Really close," I agreed. He held out his hand to help me up. I grasped his hand, and barely had to use any of my strength as he pulled me upright. I was noticing new things about him that I had previously overlooked, like how strong he was, and how fast he was. He was able to pick me up without hardly any effort, and I wasn't the lightest person alive, and sometimes he moved so quickly I didn't even notice it. It was only really dawning on me now, _what_ he was. He wasn't human. He was something I'd previously thought was fictional.

"I'd better go down to her," I said, not wanting him to leave.

"I'll pick you up in an hour," he promised. "Are you going to tell her about me?" he added as an afterthought.

"I suppose I'd better," I said, smiling at him. "I'm going to need an excuse as to why there's a half naked guy following me around."

He grinned. "Tell her I'm your stalker," he joked.

"I may as well. Can I ask… this imprinting thing…?" His face became serious as he waited for my question.

"Does it meant that I'm never going to get rid of you, even if I try?" He laughed.

"Never," he whispered in my ear.

"Oh no," I teased. He kissed me, long enough to get my pulse racing, before climbing agilely out of the window and running towards the woods. He ran so fast; I blinked and he was gone. I yawned. I'd only slept for roughly two hours. I went for a shower and changed into some fresh clothes, pathetically worrying over what would be best to wear to meeting my boyfriend's werewolf friends.

I was nervous over telling my mother about Jared. I hadn't really had a proper boyfriend to tell her about. I had had one or two when I was younger, but they weren't worth mentioning. They left me after a few weeks, and that's when I became invisible. I was boring, and not good enough for any guy.

I knew Jared was different. He was forever. And even if my mother forbade it, there was no way she'd be able to keep us apart. It wasn't physically possible for him to be away from me for long, and even though I wasn't liable to imprint on anyone, it pretty much felt that way to me too. When he was gone, I felt like there was a piece of me missing.

I joined my mother in the kitchen, where she was eating breakfast. I took a seat, too nervous about what I was about to do to get anything to eat.

"What's wrong, Kim?" she asked, not failing to notice my antsy behaviour.

"Um, I need to tell you something," I said. My mother immediately sat up straighter, concerned and suspicious. I took a deep breath.

"I kind of have a boyfriend," I said, the words coming out in a rush, desperate to get it over with. My mom stared at me for a moment, and then, to my surprise, relaxed and sat back in her seat.

"OK," she said.

"OK?" I asked blankly. I was expecting more of a reaction, to be honest.

"Yes. Seriously Kim, it's OK." She smiled at me reassuringly.

"OK," I said. "He's picking me up in a half an hour. Is that OK?" I added, afraid she was going to introduce curfews and all types of restrictions if I didn't ask her permission first.

"That's OK," she said, flicking open the newspaper on the table and began reading about the death count in Seattle.

"OK," I said, and helped myself to some cereal, completely bemused by the weird conversation. I kept my eye on the time, watching it as it made its way agonisingly towards the time Jared would arrive. The very second it became a whole hour until I last saw Jared, I was already out of the door, yelling my goodbyes to my mom.

He was already there, in his car, the engine running. I tried very hard not to break into a run, since I didn't want to embarrass myself with my eagerness to see him again. I contented myself with walking very fast. The door opened as I approached it, and I climbed eagerly into the car.

"Hey," he said, staring at me like I was the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen. The look was so intense, I blushed.

"Hi," I said, a little shyly. I could definitely feel myself becoming more confident when I was with him, but when I was alone, I still felt like the invisible girl with too many unrealistic dreams. It was like I was two different people - still me, but I was the girl I had always been, the shy and unworthy ghost, and the girl Jared made me, the special and important Kim. I wasn't sure how to bring those two together, or whether I was supposed to. Surely there's more to life than invisibility, but is it too much to ask from life if you're adored? How do you find the halfway line? I was finding it hard to switch between the two all the time.

"Did you tell your mom?" he asked, interrupting my confusing and worrying thoughts.

I rolled my eyes and told him all about the strange 'OK' conversation. It made him laugh.

"Are you all ready to meet the pack?" he said, practically jumping up and down in the seat in excitement.

"Yes!" I said, trying to interject enthusiasm and excitement in my voice. In truth, I was really apprehensive, and unsure what to expect. No one ever prepares you for something like this. But I could see it was really important to him, and I didn't want to make him unhappy.

When Jared told me he was a werewolf, I accepted it. Of course, it's supposed to be make-believe, and if someone told you that they were a werewolf there was no way you'd be able to believe it, because you know it isn't possible. But I accepted it from Jared, because I never believed that him ever falling in love with me would be possible, and it did. Anything is possible, now.

But what does being a werewolf…mean? I had so many questions for him, but a part of me was hesitant to hear the answers. I didn't want to admit it, but that same part of me was frightened of what he was, what he could be capable of. I was afraid of the unknown. I was also afraid that if I started to believe that there was nothing to fear in the unknown, it would all turn to dust, and I would be left with nothing but regrets.

"Where are we?" I asked, my eyes focussing on a small and unfamiliar house.

"Billy Black's house," Jared answered. I hadn't heard of him, although from the tone of Jared's voice I felt like I should have. I immediately felt intimidated and shy, my usual reaction to meeting new people. I tried to feel confident, but I couldn't summon any confidence at all.

Jared turned off the engine, jumped out of his door, ran around the car and opened my door for me all in a matter of seconds. I smiled in thanks, and his answering beam was breathtaking. I was still unused to being so appreciated and cared for, and even the little things he did for me like opening my car door made me feel like the most special person in the world. The way he looked at me was too surreal, sometimes, because it was hard for me to believe I could be that important to anyone.

Jared took my hand in his, and I felt my heart rate speed up a little at his touch. It was almost embarrassing the way himself in general made me react, but I couldn't help it. I was holding hands with the guy I've been fantasising about for ages, and the real thing made my heart beat in a way my daydreams never did.

We approached the house, and the door opened before we reached it. A half naked, very good-looking guy stepped out into the gentle sunlight. I hoped not all the werewolves were both hot _and_ half naked, because I didn't want to embarrass myself by staring. I cleared my throat and made my eyes focus on the stranger's face.

"Hey, Jake!" Jared exclaimed jovially.

"Hey," the werewolf said, beaming at the two of us. "This must be Kim," he said, holding out his hand to me. I shook it shyly (it was roasting, of course), a little taken aback by his familiarity already. There was no awkwardness about him. Maybe Jared had already told him about me. "I'm Jacob," he added.

"Hi, Jacob," I said timidly, flushing a little at his friendly grin. I had never really had any friends. I was unused to people actually talking to me as though I was interesting. I felt embarrassed by any attention I received, and I had a feeling it was going to get a lot worse if I were to meet the rest of the pack.

I began to wonder, as the three of us made our way into the house, whether imprinting was common. Had any of the rest of the pack imprinted? Was I a big deal, or was I just another addition? I wasn't sure.

We entered the kitchen. Two more unfamiliar heads glanced up in my direction, and I blushed and looked down. I felt Jared's hand squeeze mine, although it did nothing to ease my nerves. I was introduced to the two other werewolves: Paul and Embry. They were both hot and half naked, of course.

"How ya doing?" Embry said, flashing me a warm grin. I could only half smile at him, just completely out of my depth. I had never been any good at making friends, part of the reason why I didn't have any. I felt so insignificant and unworthy of their time. My heart sank as I realised I didn't have anywhere to belong; not here, not the place I used to reside, nowhere. I shouldn't have come at all. Jared shouldn't even be with me, either. I should be at home, wallowing in depression and pointless daydreams again, not here.

Panic raged on within me, and everyone was oblivious.

I tried to calm my emotions. I was just stressed, I told myself. I took a few deep breaths and gathered all my strength. I could do this. I could prove to everyone, and myself, that I deserved to be here, I deserved to have friends, and I deserved to be happy. I deserved Jared.

"Where are the others?" Jared's voice floated to my ears, instantly making me more alert to my surroundings. Whenever Jared spoke, I found it immensely difficult to ignore it. I supposed it was because there was nothing in my life that was more important than him, so anything he said or did was vital information to me. It reminded me of when I used to listen to him chatting with his friends, before he imprinted, and I would take note of everything he liked and hated. The memory brought a little sadness and pain with it, because I had so desperately hoped back then that he would turn around and talk to me instead. Even though now he was with me, I still couldn't shake the horrible notion it was because he had no choice.

I brushed these thoughts away, furious with myself for dwelling on them again.

"Most of them are up guarding Bella's house," Paul answered Jared. Jared nodded.

"Bella Swan?" I surprised myself by asking. "The chief's daughter?"

"Yeah," Paul said, sighing heavily. "She's been hunted by vampires, the filthy leeches."

Jared and I froze simultaneously.

"Vampires?" I said faintly. Jared's grip on my hand became even stronger, as though he was trying to convince me I had no reason for my shock and disbelief to reach panic-attack proportions. For the second time I had to calm myself down, but this time I had good reason. What else that I thought had only existed on the pages of a story book was also real? Fairies, witches, elves? I thought wildly.

Paul seemed to realise he was after putting his foot in it, either by my expression or Jared's glare. He tried to lighten the mood.

"Well, she's getting married to one of them, so I think she'll have a happy ending, and not get killed, I mean," he babbled.

"Shut _up_, Paul," Jared said, a hit of a groan in his tone. I looked up at his face, but he was looking at Jacob, not me. I glanced quickly at Jacob, whose eyes were sad. In a flash of intuition, I realised he cared for Bella. Maybe more than I knew. And it was unreciprocated. I felt a rush of pity and sorrow for him, because up until a while ago, I knew exactly how he felt.

"Oh, sorry," Paul said, his face going red as he glanced at Jacob too. Jacob's eyes had gone dead, as though he was trying to prove he was fine and everyone was being too sensitive. I wondered if my eyes had ever looked like that; haunted by one-sided feelings that never wanted to go away, and desperately trying to hide it.

Jacob looked over at me defensively, and I gave him a small sympathetic smile. He returned the smile, and looked down at the floor. I felt an urge to give him a hug, but I had nowhere near enough confidence to approach him.

A distraction occurred as Embry picked up a small cactus plant in a pot from the windowsill, considered it for a moment, and with alarming speed, chucked it at Paul's head. Paul's hand caught it before it hit his face, but he erupted into growls and curses as he was stabbed in the hand.

"Ouch, goddamn it," he roared, letting the plant fall to the floor and examining his hand. There were a few spikes sticking out of his hand. "What did you do that for?" he bellowed at Embry. Embry just grinned at him.

"I felt like it," he said. "Idiots like you should have cacti thrown at them."

Paul began to shake with anger, or at least that's what I thought. Jacob's grin slid off his face, and he glanced over at me anxiously. I wasn't afraid; they were only messing around. Jared's hand let go of mine and slid around my waist, and he pulled me closer to his side. The mood had changed dramatically, and the only reason seemed to be Paul beginning to shake. I didn't understand, but I didn't question.

"Paul, calm yourself," Jacob said, firmly. Paul looked at me and did what he was told, taking a few deep breaths. He lifted his hand to his face and gingerly pulled the spikes out. Whatever the crisis was, it seemed to have been averted.

The front door slammed, and everyone's heads, including mine, snapped in it's direction. From the voices, they sounded like a guy and a girl.

They entered the kitchen after a few moments, which felt overcrowded with people. I had wondered how it contained the four muscly werewolves in the first place, and then the tiny little scrawny me, but the guy coming through the door was just as big as the rest of them. He had an air of authority about him, and I immediately was given the impression that he was maybe the leader.

My first impression of the girl was that she was incredibly pretty, I immediately felt intimidated and unworthy again, like I usually did when surrounded by beautiful people. And then I noticed the scars. Horror washed over me, along with a thrill of fear. What had happened to her?

"You must be Kim?" she asked, smiling at me warmly. I nodded, returning her smile, trying not to stare too long at her scars. I felt uncomfortable when people stared at me, so I could only imagine how she felt. I definitely didn't want her to feel uncomfortable. She introduced herself as Emily. The guy, who told me his name was Sam, shook hands with me in greeting. I found I couldn't completely meet his eyes; there was something about him that made me feel like I didn't belong there. I couldn't explain why he gave off that vibe, but it simply enforced my earlier notions of being an outcast.

"What's this?" Emily asked the room, gesturing to the smashed plant pot on the ground, and the debris of soil scattered along the tiles.

"Embry thought he was being funny," Paul said, throwing Embry a dark look. Emily sighed, and set about cleaning it up. None of the boys made any moves to help her, and I half thought I should offer assistance, but Jared's arm around my waist had become a restraint, and I found I couldn't move.

The rest of the day passed without much incident. I had taken a great liking to both Emily and Jacob. I could relate to each of them. I was fully aware of how Jacob must be feeling, and Emily was in the same situation as me. The way Sam looked at her was saturated with awe and love, exactly the same way Jared looked at me.

I did like all the other guys; they all had their own likeable qualities. Sam was the only one I didn't feel completely comfortable with. He didn't speak much to me, and I certainly wasn't going to take the initiative to talk to him first. I was acutely aware when I wasn't wanted. I had years of practice at it.

Jared drove me home at the end of the day. He wanted a detailed analysis of how I found everyone, and I obliged, tweaking the truth slightly when I spoke of Sam. I didn't want Jared to be aware of the effect Sam had on me, as it would only make things awkward and uncomfortable. The conversation turned to Emily.

"I really like her," I told him, the conviction strong in my voice.

"Yeah, she's sound," he said.

"How… what happened to her?" I asked, wondering whether it was even my place to ask. Jared didn't answer immediately, and I bit my lip, wishing I hadn't said anything.

"It was an accident," Jared said carefully. "She was standing too close, and Sam lost control."

I froze in my seat as the realisation washed over me. "_Sam_ did that to her?" I choked out. Jared nodded slowly, watching my reaction out of the corner of his eye. I stared ahead, trying to absorb it. I tried to push the thought out of my head, but it came into my mind with a vengeance. Jared was perfectly capable of scarring me like that. Was I safe around him? Was being with him worth dying for?

_Of course it was_, I silently screamed at myself. _Haven__'__t you been dreaming about this for years? Would you rather be in one piece without his love, or in many, but still unconditionally loved by him? _

There was no choice. I would trade anything for Jared, even if it left me broken. But I was afraid. What if Jared did lose control one day, and I happened to be standing too close, just like Emily? I wondered how Sam was able to look in her eyes every day. Did he blame himself? I didn't see how he couldn't, and I felt sympathy for him.

I was so lost in my worrying and tormenting thoughts that I didn't notice Jared pulling over to the side of the road at first. We were only five minutes away from my house.

"What…?" I began to ask, as Jared cut the engine.

"Can I ask you something?" he interrupted, his eyes burning with intensity. I fell completely under their spell.

"Yes," I said, my heart speeding up a little.

"Do you trust me?" he asked, his eyes searching mine for any hint of uncertainty.

"Of course," I replied, wondering where this was going.

"No, I mean… do you trust that I will _never_, ever do anything to hurt you, and I will do _anything_ to make sure you're kept safe?"

"Sure," I stammered, my head spinning from the intensity and sincerity in his tone and in his eyes.

"Do you trust me enough to be alone with me, and not worry you might get hurt?" he asked. I stared at him, wondering if my feeling were easy to read on my face. I opened my mouth to answer but he cut across me before I could.

"I could see you've realised the potential danger in hanging around with a pack of werewolves, and I don't want you to be scared. Especially not of me. So do you trust that I will never put you in harm's way, ever?"

I nodded, too overcome with emotion to speak. I believed him and trusted him with everything I had. He would not scar me, emotionally or physically.

He took hold of my chin and pulled my face towards his, and kissed me. I felt my mind shut down completely, and go to standby. I wrapped my arms around his neck eagerly, as he ran his fingers through my thin black hair. My heart was pounding erratically, my breathing was uneven, and my skin was on fire, whether it was from his body heat or simply just his touch, I couldn't be sure.

The next day was school. Usually this would have elicited a lot of internal groaning, as I had to go in and face another day of being an anti-social freak. There would have been the little spark of hope in me, that wished upon today being the day Jared would maybe look at me, or smile at me, or announce that he loved me.

I woke up on Monday with a smile unbefitting to the fact it was both Monday and a school day. Jared and I had slept in each other's arms again, something that was becoming a regularity. I had teased him, asking what his mother would think if she saw his bed hadn't been slept in, but he just responded with words that made my heart sing.

"I'm not sleeping in a bed that doesn't have an imprint of you on it."

He could say the cheesiest things and still make them sound romantic. Well, I suppose I was too biased; he could say anything at all and I'd find it sexy. I was hopelessly addicted.

He left to change his clothes, promising he'd pick me up and take me to school and I wouldn't have to walk. I got ready for school, unable to stop thinking about him. I wondered when the excitement, the first flush, would die down and everything would become routine. I couldn't see how it ever would.

_Oh crap_, I thought to myself, as I realised I had never done a scrap of homework. I'd been so distracted all weekend. I rolled my eyes. For once, I couldn't care less about homework. I didn't care if the teachers were going to yell at me.

Jared was waiting for me outside when I finally left the house. Once again, I had to control myself from breaking into a run. I was so eager to see him, it was ridiculous. He got out of the car to open my door for me.

"You don't have to do that all the time," I told him, blushing as I climbed into the car.

"I want to," he replied, before closing my door and walking around the bonnet to his door. He was wearing a white t-shirt, which contrasted with his tanned skin in a incredibly sexy way. I couldn't stop staring. He climbed into his seat gracefully and cleared his throat loudly. I raised my eyebrows at him. He grinned and pressed play on the car stereo. Linkin Park blasted out, and I was unable to stop a smile spreading across my face.

"Favourite song?" he inquired.

"With You," I said, and he looked completely fascinated by my answer. He skipped ahead a few songs until he found it.

"You have to stop spoiling me," I said.

"Kim, I haven't even started," he replied, grinning widely.

"But I don't deserve it," I said, very quietly. He didn't appear as if he had heard me. I sighed to myself. I didn't deserve him tending to my every need. But I was so sick of my attitude at the same time; I still felt unworthy of him. Could I not just appreciate everything he did for me? Why did I have to torture myself, and try and convince myself that I never was and never will be good enough for him?

I was sick of listening to the war raging within my mind. On the one side, I was the invisible Kim, who firmly believed I was invisible for a reason, and didn't deserve the spotlight. On the other side, there was the new me, the one who felt for the first time, she mattered, she was someone and she deserved Jared. Who did I believe? The girl I had been my whole life, the one I knew? Or the stranger, the extremely happy stranger who had everything the invisible girl had ever wanted?

Confusing. The known and safe or the unknown and exciting. If I looked at it like that, there was no choice; I wanted the unknown. Yet I was so afraid to jump off the edge. And the invisible me didn't want to let go.

I threw my eyes to heaven. What was wrong with me? I made a firm decision not to try and discern the very annoying thoughts my mind kept trying to analyse. And just live.

But then I had to contend with the judging eyes. They watched me scornfully, practically screaming their approval to the fact I didn't deserve Jared. I averted my eyes from the people who stared as Jared steered the car into the school car park. I felt as though there was a large weight after settling on my stomach. I knew I was going to be a topic of conversation today, and I didn't like it. I wanted my invisibility cloak back.

"What's wrong?" I jumped at Jared's voice. He was watching me again. The car was parked, and I hadn't even noticed. I tried to rearrange my features into an expression of calm.

"Nothing," I said.

"Kim," Jared said, his tone disapproving. "Tell me, or I'll think it's something worse than it is. Please," he said, taking my hand in his as I hesitated. I made the fatal mistake of looking in his eyes, and all my resistance crumbled to nothing.

"You'll think it's stupid," I said, hoping futilely that it would deter him.

"There's nothing stupid about you," he said, so fiercely I nearly believed him.

"Well, it's just… people are going to stare. And judge me," I said, realising how pathetic it sounded when I said it out loud.

Jared didn't say anything. In a wave of horror, I hoped he hadn't thought it meant I was ashamed of being with him.

"It's nothing to do with you," I said almost frantically, still horrified at the implied suggestion my words had held.

"No, I know," he said, smiling reassuringly at me, letting me know he hadn't interpreted it that way. "I'm sad… that you feel like that," he said, the unhappiness apparent in his eyes. I immediately felt guilty for telling him.

"Don't be sad," I said, freeing my hand to stroke his cheek. His eyes closed at my touch. I made a vow then not to tell him anything about my problems and stupid little worries, because they hurt him as much as they hurt me.

"How can I not be? You were always on the outside. That was never fair," he said, his eyes opening slowly to gaze into mine. I smiled sadly at him.

"I don't feel like I'm on the outside now," I said. "I have you. I'm just afraid everyone will think I'm not good enough for you, and they'll be right."

Jared glared at me, and I once again regretted saying anything.

"Don't think like that. You are good enough for me. I'm the idiot who never saw that in the first place. I'm not good enough for you, really," he said, and I could see he was starting to believe his own words. I began shaking my head vehemently.

"You are more than enough for me," I said. "Too much."

"I wish you wouldn't think like that," he said, shaking his own head.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because the way you view yourself is all messed up. You deserve to have what you want, Kim," he said, staring very intensely into my eyes. I was mesmerised. Could he be right? Or was he just trying to make me feel better, to tell me what he thought I should hear? Seeming to read my mind, he grinned. "I imprinted on you, remember? I can't lie to you, even if I wanted to."

I nodded slowly, still unable to fully have faith in what he was saying. He sighed, still able to see my doubts.

"You're impossible," he said. "But I love you anyway." He winked at me, and I smiled in spite of myself.

"We're going to be late," I said, and tried to protest as Jared insisted on opening my door for me again.

In class, I felt like there was a large neon sign over my head. No one could seem to take their eyes away from my hand, which was clasped tightly in Jared's. I avoided every eye, afraid of what I might see in them. Jared, now aware of my unease, squeezed my hand on regular intervals. It kept me calm, and sane.

We were in the first class of the day, waiting for the teacher to arrive, when he noticed it.

"What is this I see?" he said, a broad smile on his face, tugging at my homework journal. I had opened it in a rush to check if there was any homework I'd forgotten to do, and the front cover had been plainly visible to him for a few seconds.

"Nothing," I said, panicking. If he saw it, it would be way too embarrassing. I held on to it, but Jared was much too strong. He opened the front cover and beamed at the words I had etched onto it ages ago.

"'Kim 4 Jared'" he read aloud, as I turned steadily redder. "Why Kim, I had no idea how much you cared," he teased.

"Shut up," I groaned, hiding my face in my hands.

"And look at the artwork on this love heart…"

"Jared, _please _shut up."

I listened to him chuckling away next to me. He'd probably never let me forget this. I heard him put the journal back down on the table, and peeked at him through my fingers. He was grinning happily at me. I groaned. He laughed again, and reached into his bag, pulling out his own journal.

I watched him suspiciously as he opened his front cover, which was blank. He borrowed a pencil from my pencil case, winked at me and slumped on the table so I couldn't see what he was doing. I tried in vain to look over his shoulder.

"What are you doing?" I asked, tugging at his arm. He just sniggered to himself. I sighed.

"Fine. I don't want to know, anyway," I said, hoping my attempt at reverse psychology would work. He just sniggered again. The teacher chose that moment to arrive, and launched into her lecture. I only half listened, my mind preoccupied. I could still feel the glances of my fellow classmates, the pretty and cool girls in particular. I still felt intimidated by them, so I studiously avoided their eyes.

The class was boring, partly because Jared stayed hunched over whatever he was doing the whole time. It occurred to me that if I asked could I see what he was doing, he would have to show me. I was about to put this plan into action when the bell went. Jared finally sat up, still grinning infectiously. He made a big show of flexing his fingers, handed me back my pencil and shoved the journal at me. I opened it, eyeing him suspiciously.

My mouth fell open. Inside the front cover, he had drawn a sketch of me. It was literally amazing. It looked exactly like me down to every little detail; it was unbelievably realistic. In the picture, I was smiling; my hair looked like it was blowing in the wind. Below it, he had written 'Kim' in an elegant script, and placed a love heart where the dot over the i should be. To my embarrassment, my eyes filled with tears that I hastily tried to blink away.

"Oh my God, Jared," I said, listening to his chuckling at my reaction. "It's unreal."

"I know," he said, and I rolled my eyes at his lack of modesty. I handed him back his journal. We were the only ones left in the classroom. My head was still trying to absorb what I had just seen.

"I had no idea you were so good at art," I said. "What other hidden talents have you been keeping hidden from me?"

His face broke out in yet another wide grin. "Oh, you'd be surprised at my hidden talents, Kim, very surprised indeed," he said.

"Oh, really?" I laughed. He put his arm around my shoulders and we left for our next class, laughing.

**Author****'****s Note 2: Thanks for reading, hoped you liked it! Please review!! And because there was no cliffy in the ending, I shall give you a little hint of what is to come****……****. Ahem:**

**Kim attends the bonfire, where she meets Bella, and has an epiphany****…**

**We all know where Bella and Edward were while the werewolves and vampires united to beat the newborns, but where were Kim and Emily?? And how did they handle the worry while they waited for their werewolf boyfs to come home??**

**Hmmm****…****. :) xxxxxxxxxxxxx ps. I'll try and update as soon as i can!! xxxxxx**


	6. The Bonfire

**Author's Note: Hoi, thanks a mill 4 ur reviews SO much - where wud i be without ye?? Enjoy dis chapter, and loadza fun writing it!! xxxxxx**

* * *

I struggled to keep my eyes open, but it was becoming a very difficult thing to do. I hadn't been sleeping very well, due to the fact of it being very uncomfortable to use a roasting hot werewolf as a pillow, and I felt like I was drugged, I was so exhausted. Adding to my drowsiness, there was the heat… Jared's arm around me, and the crackling flames of the bonfire.

I was worried Jared might mistake my sleepiness as boredom, when really I was anything but.

The entire pack, including the ones I hadn't met, were gathered around the flames… all muscly and half naked. A few of them I hadn't been introduced to, but they all acted like they had known me for years. I had thought at first they were all treating me like I was already their friend because they didn't want the evening to be awkward and stilted, but I had admonished myself for having paranoid thoughts. They weren't just being nice for Jared's sake; they actually liked me. I felt accepted, for the first time in my life.

There were a few people there I didn't know, and few who couldn't possibly be werewolves. However, I was too shy to go over and introduce myself, so I stayed close to Jared's side all night. Jared was in a very good mood, and it didn't occur to him that I didn't know everyone. I didn't mind.

Jacob hadn't left the side of a pretty brunette all night, so I presumed her to be Bella. She was the type of person I would normally be intimidated by; she exuded confidence, self belief, contentment… and she was pretty. She looked as though she hadn't much to worry about. Some of the guys had called her the vampire girl when she first arrived, and she had just blushed and smiled.

I knew nothing of the vampires; I preferred not to dwell on what they meant. I admit, I did try to block certain information from my mind, for instance, what Jared looked like as a werewolf. Things like that scared me; it was the unknown after all, and I wasn't about to win any bravery awards. I was afraid of what I wasn't sure of.

Yet, this Bella… she didn't look like she had a care in the world. I was admiring, and a little jealous. She was in the same situation as me, maybe an even bigger one; we were surrounded by creatures that shouldn't exist, and if they actually faded away to the cover of a storybook, we would be left with broken hearts. But she seemed more accepting of it all, and wasn't afraid of believing.

Why couldn't I be like her? Why was I so hesitant to believe? Did I not want my fairytale ending? Or was I just a realist, and knew that life didn't always have a fairytale ending, so I was just preparing myself?

I barely knew Bella, and for all I knew she was just as scared as me, but I doubted it. Paul said she was going to marry her vampire boyfriend. She didn't care what he was. She loved him despite what he was.

And why couldn't I do that with Jared?

Did I honestly care what Jared was?

No.

Then why couldn't I believe in everything? Believe he loved me? Believe I was worth it? Believe I deserved to be happy? Believe that my life was going to end with a fairytale twist? Believe that Jared wouldn't suddenly wake up one morning and forget he imprinted on me, and I would be left alone, broken because I believed?

I was too scared to believe, it case it wasn't real.

Something my mother used to say to me popped into my mind. _Those who live a cautious life do not live at all_. I never wanted to turn into someone who didn't take risks, just because she didn't want to be hurt.

And so I came to a conclusion.

"Kim." Jared nudged me and sat me up a little straighter. I realised I had been dozing against his chest. I opened my eyes blearily, struggling to break free from the warm and comfortable stupor I had fallen under. I noticed everyone was gazing at Billy Black, so I turned my attentions to him also.

As Billy launched into the story, I completely lost any sense of who I was. I listened with every ounce of attention I had. The story was fascinating, like it had leapt off the pages of a novel. But this time, I believed it was real. Absorbed as I was, my eyes wandered to the faces of the others around me. They all seemed as fascinated as I was.

My eyes lingered on Jacob's face for a moment. He had given me a warm greeting earlier, and I had decided I liked him best out of the pack (second to Jared, of course). He was fun and cheeky, and he was like the younger brother I never had. The way he watched Bella was heart-breaking. I don't even think she realised the way he looked at her. It was reminiscent of the way Jared looked at me, although there wasn't the same type of awe that always filled Jared's eyes. So I instinctively knew Jacob hadn't imprinted.

I decided I hated unrequited love. Why couldn't love be simple? Why did there have to be triangles? Why couldn't Jacob end up with the girl he loved? I remembered how I had felt, during the days when Jared hadn't loved me. I felt as though I wasn't completely whole. I felt like there wasn't much to be hopeful about, apart from the agonising hopes that someday he might love me back.

And then I felt sick, because Jacob probably felt like that now. I had Jared now, yet I was still hesitant and so ready to push Jared away in case I got hurt believing the truth. Jacob would no doubt kill to be in my position of commitment with the person he loves. I was there, where I had wanted to be for so long, and I was wasting it by _being Kim_. I had been Kim my whole life, and I couldn't remember the last time I had been happy.

I didn't want to waste my time with Jared being careful. I was going to be a new Kim, a better version of who I was, one who was brave and strong and thankful for what she got.

Billy finished his story, and there was a hush around the fire as every person absorbed what they had heard. There was silence, apart from the crackling of the flames and the wind, and the soothing sounds of the ocean. I felt a great peace steal over me in that moment. I realised how much easier my life seemed when I wasn't always filling my head with more angst and things to worry about. I could just enjoy the moment.

Jared flicked a small stone at Paul, who jumped, and the mood lifted as everyone sniggered at him. Conversations began, the low hum of voices were almost like a lullaby. I yawned. Jared could just sleep on the floor if he had to; I was just too tired.

"Do you want to go home?" Jared whispered in my ear. I shivered as his breath made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end, and my heart sped up in response. I wrestled with this reaction, hoping he hadn't noticed the way he had affected me. Judging by his chuckle though, he had.

"No," I replied, struggling to sit up a little straighter, but I was once again unable to smother my yawn.

"You're tired. I'll take you home," Jared said firmly.

"But I don't want to," I protested, as he proceeded to lift me onto my feet. He paused. His face was torn between what I said I wanted and what my yawns told him otherwise. I realised again with a jolt, that he really would do anything for me, and no matter what I wanted, he would go along with it. I had never seen myself as any kind of dominant force in a relationship, and I wasn't sure if I had the right qualities to be the domineering one. I didn't even know what I wanted half the time.

I was a passive person. I had a horrible image of me with a leash wrapped around Jared's neck, like he was some little obedient puppy. And it disturbed me. Jared only wanted to make me happy, which I was immensely grateful for as that's all a girl ever wants in a guy, but what I needed and what I wanted were things I found difficult to discern. Jared wouldn't be able to provide what I needed if it wasn't what I wanted, and I could end up destroying myself.

Yes, I guess I am being a little melodramatic, but I'm practically comatose. Drama comes easy to me when I haven't had enough sleep.

"What's wrong?" Jared asked, and I realised I'd been staring at him while I had been thinking. I blushed. His eyes were always so intense whenever he looked at me.

"Nothing," I said. "I was just thinking."

"About me, I hope," he said, winking at me. I grinned, but nodded in a resigned type of way. My thoughts were always either about him or as a result of him.

"I think you're right, I need bed," I said.

"Are you sure?" he asked, his eyes concerned, and I felt a pang. He really cared for me way more than I deserved. I was always doubting everything.

"Positive," I said. He wrapped his arm around my waist and half-dragged me in the direction of his car. We said goodbye to everyone as we left. I was still slightly worried over my frightening new ability to control Jared. I didn't like the idea that I would ultimately be able to decide my own fate in a situation, even if Jared totally disagreed with it.

It was typical me, of course; the minute I decide to stop worrying about something, another problem arises, and I can't wait to obsess over and analyse it.

I tried to calm myself down. I remembered what Jared had said to me, the day he had told me he had imprinted on me…

_You want to do anything you can for them; protect them, make them smile, and become whatever they need you to be._

If I was putting myself in danger by denying what I needed because of what I wanted, I felt totally confident that Jared wouldn't allow me to be hurt. He wouldn't let me. So maybe I had just panicked over the whole situation, and overreacted. I rolled my eyes at myself. I was still trying to find the flaws in the dream come true.

…_become whatever they need you to be__…_

I suppose if I asked Jared to do whatever was best for me, despite whatever I thought otherwise, he would do it. But I felt too shy and mortified at my concerns to ever ask him something like that. I didn't want to admit that I was obsessing over trivial things. I was find the flashing red danger signs in a picture that should be black and white. Jared loved me. I loved him. He would do anything for me. I would give up anything for him. Simple, right?

Right.

"I could be way off, but you look like you're going demented?" Jared said, interrupting my internal arguments. I felt guilty for not paying any attention to him. Especially just to listen to myself go on and on.

"Yeah, I think so too," I sighed. We had reached the car. He opened my door for me, and for once I didn't object. I sank gratefully into the seat.

"You know you can tell me anything that's bothering you, yeah?" Jared said, already climbing into his seat.

"I know," I said, smiling at him reassuringly. "It's nothing really."

"Are you sure?" he asked, and I realised that that was something he asked me often. Was I sure? Did I really want to keep this from him? For now, I decided. I would tell him, but not now.

"Yes," I said. Jared winked at me and started the engine. "So was that Bella that Jacob was hanging around with?" I asked, hoping my change of conversation wasn't too obvious.

"Yeah," Jared said, making a face. I was a little surprised at his reaction.

"Do you not like her?" I asked him.

"Well, I've nothing against her, really, but…" Jared trailed off. "She left Jacob in some mess." He shook his head. "She just makes stupid decisions sometimes."

I thought about this. Anyone can make a stupid decision, I guessed, we are all human after all. Well, not all of us… but still. Bella is human, as far as I know, and she can make mistakes, just like me.

"Did Jacob tell you the whole story?" I asked. Jacob didn't seem to me like the share-what-I'm-feeling type; I all too clearly remembered how dead his eyes went that day, how he tried to hide his sadness.

Surprising me for the second time, Jared immediately went all nervous and shifty. My suspicions grew.

"Er, not exactly," he said. My suspicions heightened.

"What is it? Tell me," I demanded, wincing a little as I did so. I didn't like telling him what to do. But I was curious.

"Well, when we transform, we can… kind of… hear each other's thoughts," Jared said hesitantly. I tried to make my face look as though this was an interesting fact, not at all creepy and supernatural.

"Oh, right," I said.

"Right," Jared said.

"Right," I echoed.

Jared cleared his throat, and he looked like he was trying not to smile. "Well, it's kind of more than that, because it's like… we can hear everything that everyone is thinking, and we see their mental pictures as well. There are no secrets in the pack. There's no such thing as privacy," Jared said, with a dry laugh.

Something occurred to me. Was that why the pack was so over familiar with me? Because they practically knew everything about me? Everything that Jared knew, at least. I could feel my face beginning to burn. Oh God. They knew about my journal, my complete breakdown when he told me what he was, MY PYJAMAS… oh my God. Oh God.

"Kim? Are you alright?" Jared said anxiously. The car swerved as he gazed at me, trying to discern the expression on my face.

"Don't crash the car, Jared," I said, trying to keep my voice calm.

"Right, yeah," he said, gripping the wheel firmly. He kept shooting glances at me out of the corner of his eye. I had never felt more embarrassed in my whole life.

There was silence in the car for roughly thirty seconds, and then it seemed Jared could take no more.

"Kim, if you don't tell me what's wrong with you, I'm going to go completely insane," he said, a pleading tone in his voice.

"I'm just _embarrassed_," I said, holding my head in my hands.

Jared chuckled. I felt a surge of annoyance and glared at him through my fingers.

"It's not funny," I said indignantly. He immediately pressed his lips together, but he couldn't keep the spark of humour out of his eyes.

"You're right, it's not funny," he said, a suppressed laugh in every syllable.

"You think it's hilarious," I said huffily, sitting back in the seat and crossing my arms.

"I do not!" he said, unable to keep the grin off his face this time.

"Humph," I said, glaring out of the window, ignoring him silently shaking with laughter next to me. He laughed to himself for a while, before taking a few deep breaths, calming down. His expression became one of utmost seriousness.

"You're embarrassed about the pyjama incident, aren't you?" he asked finally, the corners of his mouth twitching.

"I hope you weren't thinking about that _around them_," I said, horrified at the very thought. Jared's face broke out into a wicked smile.

"Kim, it's very hard for me not to think about that all the time," he teased, causing my cheeks to flame up again.

"Jared," I groaned, burying my face in my hands again. I was completely mortified. Jared sniggered away at his own joke for a while, and then I felt an arm around my shoulders.

"I'm sorry," he said, pulling me closer to his side. I rested my head against his chest. He was silent for the rest of the drive, occasionally breaking into silent chuckles at something. I was just praying his friends hadn't been making any comments about me. That would be just the worst. I really hoped there would be a black hole I could jump into when I got out of the car.

Jared left me at the front door, and said he'd see me in a few minutes. I let myself into the freezing house. My mother was waiting up for me in bed, so I said goodnight before retreating to my own room. Jared had his face pressed against my window, making a grotesque face against the glass. I giggled silently, before opening the window to let him in.

This had become a very enjoyable routine; every night, Jared would be outside my window, waiting for me to let him in. My heart still reacted by leaping around erratically in my chest when I saw him, even though I could expect him to be there every night.

The minute he was inside, I pulled him into a hug, pressing my cold body against his roasting hot one. He seemed a little surprised at first, before wrapped his large muscly arms around me tightly. I felt myself warm up, and I was just glad he was there. My earlier mortification forgotten, I remembered the conclusion I had drawn up earlier.

I was going to believe, even if it left me broken. But I was finding it hard to believe that I could be left broken, because now that I believed Jared did love me, and that everything was real, nothing seemed to scare me anymore. Jared would keep me safe. He'd always be there to wrap his big muscly arms around me, and keep the icy chills away.

* * *

_A few months later__…_

I had to ask him. I had to ask him now, or it would be too late.

"Don't worry, Kim, OK?" he said, gazing in his usual intense way into my eyes. I could only nod, trying to pluck up the courage to ask him, worried about the consequences, or what he would say. "I'll be back before you know it." He swept me up into a kiss, and I was completely distracted. I wrapped my arms around him tightly, hoping that time would stop and he'd have to stay in my arms forever.

He pulled away, much, much too soon.

"Jared," I began, the words on the tip of my tongue. I needed to ask him. If I didn't ask him, and he didn't come back…

"I love you," he said, kissing my forehead. He looked as though he didn't want to leave. I didn't want him to leave. So why did he have to leave?

"I love you too," I said, desperate for him to know, just in case I didn't get a chance, or forgot to remind him.

He smiled and winked at me, and I became lost in his sapphire eyes. I could see his hesitation, his apprehension, and I wondered whether it was for the battle ahead, or concern over me. I hoped it wasn't the latter. He wasn't not going to lose his concentration for one fatal second due to worrying about me.

But I couldn't think about that. The would be no fatalities including him, not today, not ever. I had to ask him.

"Love you, Kim," he said, and walked away. Frozen, I watched him walk out the front door and join his pack, who were waiting for him. I couldn't move, every part of me numb, until he disappeared from sight. He was gone. He was going to do battle with a bunch of vampires, and there was a possibility he mightn't come back.

And I hadn't asked him to stay.

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	7. Tidal Wave

**Hey! Thanks to everyone who left a review (i love the long one ;) xx) - please keep reviewing - it will take you five minutes but it will make my whole day... :) XXXXXX Enjoy this, and the lovely extra at the end... xoxoxox**

Panic.

It consumed every inch of me, rising within me like a tidal wave. I fought with all my remaining strength to keep it under control, keep it from brimming over, because I needed to keep my head, even if it wasn't exactly clear at the moment. My stomach was clenched into a tight fist, unrelenting; sharp pangs rocking through my body as I thought of all the possible, yet unthinkable, outcomes.

I was freezing. Every inch of my skin was covered in goose bumps, the hairs standing on end; every now and then my teeth would chatter from the violent shivers which shocked down my spine. I had aches in my back from trying to control the shivers, and aches in my fingers, which clenched themselves into painful fists whenever I thought of him.

Anger raged in my mind, trying to drown out the pain. Why didn't I just ask him, before he had a chance to leave? He would have stayed if I'd have asked him. He wouldn't have left me. But I was paralysed with the dread of what he could be facing, and time had rushed by so fast. It felt like someone had pressed fast-forward, and he was already walking away before I could summon the words to ask him not to.

I tortured myself, as I imagined my life without him. I could never go back to the way I used to be, because he was my little ray of sunlight in the dark, the only reason I breathed. Just to sit next to him every day in class made my life worth living. If he were never to return, I would be left with nothing. Just emptiness, bleakness, black. No reason to smile. I'd have nothing to wake up in the morning for. Only haunted by the memories of him, and the torturing regret of not asking him in time.

Almost hysterically, I thought about how…nothing my life had been without him in it. All I had was the tedious routine of school and daydreams, nothing to excite me, nothing to be happy about. And then I felt guilty, because of my mom, and I loved her loads and maybe I was selfish to think that she wasn't someone worth living for, because she was.

I tried to snap myself out of it, telling me the only way I was going to get through the next few hours was if I stayed strong. I concentrated on breathing. Just breathing; taking one breath at a time, surviving every second. Every second, time ticked on, closer to the time when I would be reunited with Jared. I refused to think of another other ending, any other time.

Each breath hurt my lungs, my ribs aching as they were forced to expand and contract. A heavy weight was pressing down on my chest, trying to smother me. It was the tidal wave of tears, but I couldn't let them flow. Tears were a sign of weakness. I had to be strong. I ignored the pain, and just set my mind to breathing in and out.

I found my mind wandering as I breathed, all the sparkling memories of the last few months floating to the front of my mind. The last few months had been like a vivid, colourful dream…the type you never wanted to wake up from. I felt right now, like I had jolted awake, and found myself in a living nightmare.

Jared and I had become inseparable. It had become physically impossible for us to be away from each other for too long. We had been forced to spend more and more time away from each other however, as the protection for Bella became stronger, and Jared wanted to do his part. I knew he had responsibilities to the pack, and I wanted to be as supportive as possible.

But whenever he was away from me, I felt like I was missing, that I was a stranger in the world with no one to help me find my way back home. Everything was unfamiliar and strange without Jared, and I felt like I was missing a vital organ, most likely my heart. I knew he must have felt similar, because he rarely left my side unless he absolutely had to.

I knew I was incredibly lucky to have someone like that, who willingly gave up his life to be with me. And I appreciated it, every day. I never once took one day for granted, and every time I saw him, my heart still overreacted the way it always did.

And I had changed. I no longer felt like I had to prove myself to the judges, day after day. I had enough common sense now to know when I deserved something, even if I was reluctant to believe it. I knew I deserved Jared, after all this time, because I hadn't been dealt a fair hand of cards. All my cards had been absolutely useless together, and the people who held aces and kings just laughed. Then someone had thrown me an ace - Jared - and suddenly my hand made sense.

I took another deep breath and closed my eyes. Every second was getting harder. Maybe concentrating on my breath was a bad idea. I needed to distract myself, find something that would be sufficient enough to get me through the next couple of hours.

"Kim?" I jumped in my seat, my heart beating rapidly. It was Emily, who looked concerned. Memories came rushing back to me, like the fact I had asked her to wait with me at Billy's house so I could have someone to talk to while Jared was gone. This had been what I had told him, but really I knew I needed to be with someone in my position. Someone who had an inkling of what I was going through.

"Oh, Emily…sorry," I said, apologising for ignoring her, and forgetting all about her. There were other people in the world besides me, I reminded myself. Emily could need my support as much as I needed hers.

"It's OK," she said, smiling. She looked quite calm and serene, but just because the water is calm on the surface doesn't mean there aren't whirlpools underneath. I wondered how she could stand it. Knowing that there was a possible chance Sam mightn't come back? Or Jacob, or Paul, or Embry, or Quil? Or Jared?

The tidal wave that threatened to submerge me rose a little higher.

I tried to return the smile, but it probably resembled a grimace. I had never felt less like smiling.

Emily joined me where I was sitting at the kitchen table. Next to her, I became all the more aware of my shivers, and goose bumps, and how tightly my fists were clenched. I would have been embarrassed about these reactions if my emotions weren't so overwhelming. There was a silence.

"How… can you… stand it?" I asked, my voice shaking from the cold and the panic. How could she act so calm? I was clinging on to the shreds of willpower that I had left, so I wouldn't give in to the panic, and quite possibly go insane. How could she put on such a perfect mask? Or was it even a mask?

"Stand what?" Emily asked, concerned. I winced as another violent shiver shocked itself down my spine.

"Stand the… waiting," I said, unable to put into words the many things I was unable to stand. "What if… they don't… come back?"

Emily's expression of calm didn't change. "Sam promised me he'd come back. I believe him. I trust that he will," she said simply. I didn't know what to say. There was conviction in her voice, and not a trace of the fear that consumed me. I remembered what Jared had said to me.

_I'll be back before you know it._

Was it really that simple, just to believe in those words and trust they'll be true? I wasn't able to comprehend that that was all it would take to keep me from the brink of insanity. It was too simplistic an idea. But what if it worked?

But what if I believed the words with everything I had and Jared didn't come back?

I held my forehead in my hands. All this thinking was hurting my head. I could feel the beginnings of a master headache, and I really didn't need any extra pain on top of the pain I already felt. I needed a distraction. A question I had wanted to ask Emily for ages now floated to the top of my mind. I wasn't sure if it was exactly the right time to ask, but it was the only thing I could think of that would provide any kind of distraction.

"Emily? Can I ask you a question?" I asked hesitantly.

"Sure," Emily smiled.

"How… did you react when Sam told you he was a werewolf?"

I know this question wasn't very relevant to anything, but it had been something that had been troubling me for a while. Emily was the other person I knew to be in a similar situation to me, and I wanted to know how easily she had managed to believe. It had taken me a while, and I needed to know if I had been wrong to doubt for so long.

Emily didn't appear too surprised at the random question. She considered her answer for a while before speaking.

"I didn't speak to him for a week," she said.

"What?" I asked, sufficiently distracted.

"Yeah," Emily laughed. "I thought he was psycho. And I was angry with him over the whole Leah thing too, so I just decided he wasn't worth any trouble. But I went back to him, in the end." She shrugged. "Everyone wants to be loved, and it's hard to stay away from someone who would love you more than anyone else ever could."

I nodded. I understood. Even if I hadn't been in love with Jared already, I would have fallen for him anyway. You can't resist the level of commitment and adoration they offer. Like Emily said, everyone wants to be loved.

I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to imagine they were Jared's arms, keeping me safe, keeping me warm. My arms were freezing, so I really had to use my imagination. My body was still aching from the force of my shivers, but my breathing had calmed a little, which helped. I could still the force of the tidal wave; it was ready to break the banks, but I wouldn't let it.

The room darkened gradually, and neither Emily or I found any incentive to speak. We just waited. She seemed miles away, but not once did she bit her lip, or fidget in any way, or show any signs that she was anxious. I was unable to stop biting my nails at regular intervals. I always realised I was doing it, and stopped myself, but somehow a different nail disappeared every few minutes.

I was still cold. I was still shaking. I was still close to tears. I was still close to screaming, to running around the house smashing things, to just collapsing with exhaustion and fear. But I kept myself alert, breathing in a regular rhythm. I refused to feel anything, knowing that if I succumbed to my emotions the dam would burst. I focussed on my memory of Jared's face, telling myself over and over that I would be seeing him again soon, and all I had to do was keep breathing.

And then we heard the howls of pain.

I jumped from my feet, barely aware of Emily anymore. Someone was hurt. An image filled my mind, horrifying me, frightening me. Jared. Bleeding. Broken. Screaming in pain. I wanted to scream too.

Emily, her face no longer calm, ran outside, me right behind her. The howling was coming from the woods, loud, echoing. Emily grabbed my hand and we stood, frozen, watching the trees, waiting. After a few seconds, someone broke through a bush. Emily almost collapsed with relief.

"Sam!" she cried, and ran towards him. They embraced, and I looked away, unable to handle the big emotional reunion. There was still shuffling in the woods behind them, and I watched in horror as Embry and Paul emerged… carrying Jacob. Jacob was cursing loudly, and one side of him was crushed. A man emerged from the woods after them, and my breath caught in my throat. He was incredibly handsome, every feature perfect. I had a ominous feeling that he wasn't quite human.

I was unable to speak, but just watched as Jacob was carried into the house, still cursing and throwing insults everywhere, the man behind them. Emily and Sam had followed them, also concerned, and I found I couldn't move. I wanted to know how Jacob was, and I felt like a selfish bitch for not showing my concerns, but I was numb. Someone had been hurt, and they had all been so confident that everything was fine. Where were the rest of them? Where was Jared?

The dam burst, the tidal wave attacked. I collapsed to my knees, holding my head in my arms, unable to stop the tears flowing down my cheeks. The panic completely took me over, and I began to shake even more violently, so much that it felt like the ground below me was also shaking. I began to gasp, each breath hard to come by, stabbing at my insides like needles.

A noise behind me made me turn on the spot, my tears freezing on my face. It was a very familiar voice, cursing. Was he hurt too? I scrambled to my feet, watching the area where his voice had floated out from.

He broke through a large bush, not a scratch on him. He saw me and a wide grin broke out over his face.

"I stood on a bloody thorny thing," he announced, but I wasn't even listening. I began to walk towards him, feeling like I was dreaming. He was back, and he wasn't hurt, and he was acting like everything was normal, and fine, like I hadn't been panicking all this time because I was so afraid he'd be killed.

When I was only a few more feet away from him, I broke into a run, and threw myself into his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. He laughed.

"Steady on!" he joked, but he fell silent as I began to sob into his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me, hugging me so tightly I thought my ribs would break. I breathed in his scent, noticing how my breathing had returned to normal, and my shakes had disappeared. I was crying because I was so relieved that he was back in my arms. I was never going to let him go again.

"Never… do anything like that again, unless you want me to go insane," I mumbled, feeling a little embarrassed for my tears, as they began to dry up.

"I'll keep it in mind," Jared said, and I pulled my face back so I could see his. He wiped my tears away with his index finger, as I became lost in his sapphire eyes once more. They were a little sad, for my tears, but they twinkled with something that I could only describe as adoration. He smiled at me, and I smiled back.

Before I could do anything else, he was kissing me, and I forgot how to think or feel. I forgot about everyone else. I wrapped my arms tighter around him, and vowed never to let him go. He was everything I had ever wanted. I pulled away first, staring into his eyes for an immeasurable moment.

"Marry me!" I blurted, without thinking. Once the words were out of my mouth, I almost died of mortification. What the hell did I just say? Oh my God.

"What?" Jared said, starting to laugh.

"I - I... em..." I stuttered, wondering whether there was some way to go back in time and take back the words. What the hell had I been thinking? We were only seventeen! I wasn't even thinking about marriage, realistically. I climbed out of his arms awkwardly, my face flaming.

"Did you just propose to me?" Jared asked, still laughing, making the whole situation a million times worse for me.

"No. I was talking to my imaginary friend," I snapped, on the defensive now. This only made Jared laugh harder. I began to walk away from him, in search of a pit I could lie down in and die, but his arm created a snare around my waist.

"I'm sorry," he said, stepping in front of me so I couldn't go anywhere. He was standing extremely close, his eyes still twinkling with humour, and I felt my heart rate speed up again in response.

"Just forget I said anything. I didn't mean to say it, anyway," I said, still blushing furiously. The truly wonderful thing about this was that Jared would transform again and all his werewolf buddies would all find out about my mortification.

"Aw! So you don't want to marry me, then?" he said, his voice teasing.

"Jared," I groaned, holding my face in my hands. I could still feel the dried tears on my cheeks, and it felt like a lifetime ago already that I had been sobbing on his shoulder. Jared grabbed my hands and pulled them away from my face gently. He gazed in my eyes again, and it was the most intense gaze he had ever given me. I was completely spellbound. He kissed me again, passionately, hungrily, and I once again lost any sense of who I was.

"Yes," he said, when he pulled away.

"What?" I said, dazed, without a clue of what he was talking about.

"I'll marry you," he grinned, winking at me. I could only stare at him.

* * *

**Because i'm wonderful, this is a sample from what i have written so far of Jared's story. Let me know what you think, and enjoy!! xoxoxox**

I became transfixed by her hazel eyes. I wondered if she knew how much her eyes revealed; I felt as though I was gazing into her soul. Something about her eyes were haunting; as though she was trying to hide something, an emotion in which she had become skilled at concealing. With a jolt, I realised how much they reminded me of Jacob, when he was trying not to show how much he cared for Bella Swan. I searched her eyes desperately, seeking some sign that she was content. Any notion I had that she might be in pain physically hurt me.

I could find only disbelief. She was confused as to why I was here, why she had suddenly become the centre of my universe. I wanted to explain everything to her, but I was afraid it would be too much too soon. A million feelings overcame me, and I desperately wanted to free her from the ghosts in her eyes. I wanted to see her smile, with nothing but sunshine in her beautiful eyes.

She looked away. I guess I may have been staring at her too intensely. I couldn't help it. I wanted to break through the walls she had built around her, because she didn't need them anymore. I would protect her, I would be her armour. But she was delicate, and I couldn't let her break before I had the chance to be her protection.

**Thanks for reading! Ur all amazing xoxoxox **

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	8. Because Of Me

**For anyone who hasn't found it yet, Jared's side is up!! Just click my name and you'll find it listed (it's called A Werewolf Love Story: Jared's Side - original, i know!!) Let me know what you think about it! I did my best with it, but it's kinda hard coz i can relate to Kim in loads of ways, but i can't really with Jared coz i am not, obviously, a boy. Anyway, anyway, enjoy this!! xxxxxxxxx P.S thanks for ur reviews, some of them were so amazingly nice, i was nearly in tears!! U lot rock!! xoxox :)**

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"You what now?" I said, feeling utterly dazed.

"I accept your proposal," Jared said, his grin so wide I was surprised his face didn't crack. I felt dizzy. What did he mean? Were we… _getting married_?

Jared sniggered at my expression. "It can't have shocked you that much. You asked me, expecting an answer, and I love you more than words can say. I was hardly going to say no, was I?" His tone was teasing.

I shook my head, mute. I hadn't actually meant to ask him to marry me; I was so relieved he was back in my arms, I was emotionally unstable. I just blurted out the first thing that came into my head. But that didn't mean I didn't want to be his wife. I had always dreamed of being married. I had been alone for a while, dreaming of a life with Jared, and I had longed for marriage, pathetically. It wasn't the diamond ring and the huge white wedding that I desired; it was all the little things.

Having someone to cuddle. Having a hand to hold. Having a memory to keep a smile on my face. Just the knowledge that he was always there to catch me when I fall, and all the other clichés.

We'd only been together a few months. In that time, we had done nothing but spend time together, discovering everything we could about each other. We had our own little world that we would escape into. No other person was able to intrude on it. If there were other people around us, I always ended up forgetting about them. I had a feeling it was the same story for Jared, because the question had to be repeated three times before he even realised someone else besides me was speaking to him.

I couldn't see a single disadvantage in getting married to Jared. I thought briefly about our parent's reactions, but once we were both eighteen, there wasn't anything they could really do about it. Nothing could break us apart, and I had absolute confidence in that fact.

I couldn't help the smile spreading across my face. I hung my head, and burst into a fit of giggles. Looking back on it, the whole scene had been ridiculous, yet it made me deliriously happy. I was getting bloody _married_!

Jared scooped me up into his arms. "You better not be laughing at me," he said, now joining in with my laughter.

"I'm just happy," I said, and his eyes shone brilliantly with his own joy. It was amazing how by just telling him I was happy, made him ten times happier. I took the inititave for once, and kissed him before he had a chance to even consider it.

"I _really_ hate to break this up, but…" a voice said suddenly. Jared almost dropped me in his fright, and my heart jumped erratically, threatening heart failure. Jared turned and we spotted Quil, looking extremely uncomfortable.

"Oh, hey there, Quil!" Jared said, not a trace of awkwardness about him. I was trying not to die with embarrassment. I felt shy about displays of affection in public, especially kissing. "Guess what?"

"What?" Quil asked, eyeing both of us warily.

"Kim proposed to me!" Jared announced, and laughed as I buried my flaming red face in his shoulder.

"Oh, congrats," Quil said, his eyes widening, a grin spreading across his face. "That's really cool news, guys, but eh… Sam wants a word," he said pointedly to Jared. I climbed out of his arms obediently, watching as the smile faded on Jared's face to that of a frown.

"OK," he said. He turned to me. "I'll be right back." I nodded, and he kissed the back of my hand before he walked away with Quil in the direction of the house. An emptiness and uneasiness stole over me as I watched him walk away. I suddenly remembered Jacob. With a rush of guilt and remorse, I realised I hadn't even checked to see how he was yet. I also headed in the direction of the house, and found Emily in the kitchen.

"How is he?" I asked her anxiously. She seemed slightly harassed.

"He's fine," she said. "He's asleep. Carlisle fixed him up, and you know what they're like; they heal in a matter of minutes. Jacob's just annoyed he's going to have to wear crutches for a while."

"Why?" I asked, feeling like I was missing something.

"Oh, Charlie Swan happened to be there when Jacob was brought in. We have to keep up appearances, after all." Emily flashed me a smile, which I returned.

"So Jacob's going to be OK?" I asked, seeking confirmation.

"Yes."

I nodded. I would have liked to ask her of the battle, the reason for Jacob's injuries, and the reason I had nearly lost my mind, but she probably didn't know much more than I did. I could always ask Jared later, anyway. I wondered how Bella was; from what Jared had told me, they had come to attack her. I hoped she was alright.

"Who's Carlisle?" I asked, not really caring about the answer, but needing a distraction from the ache I felt again now Jared wasn't with me.

"He's the really handsome guy who arrived with Jacob," Emily answered. "He's a vampire."

I gaped at her, shocked. "_He_ was a _vampire_?" I asked, my voice a couple of octaves too high. "But… but… but I thought they could only come out at night!"

Emily laughed. "You need to let go of some of your stereotypes. I always thought werewolves had to transform at full moon, and I made an idiot of myself." She smiled at the memory. I was grinning, about to ask her what she had said, when a large crash coming from outside made us both jump with fright.

"What the _hell_ was that?"

We both ran outside, searching for the source of the disturbance. And we found it pretty quickly. Jared and Sam were fighting.

It was stupid, but I stepped away from Emily slightly, and she did the same. Maybe it was instinct, us taking the side of our respective partners, or maybe it was just automatic.

I felt a thrill of fear as I took in the scene. Both Sam and Jared looked absolutely furious. I had never seen Jared look so menacing; I didn't even know he was capable of such a terrifying fury. Sam's expression scared the hell out of me too. I had no idea what outcome to expect, and that thought frightened me more than anything.

Quil was standing in between them, his expression torn between his friend and his boss.

"And what do you expect me to do about it, Sam? You have the answers to everything, after all!" Jared was yelling.

"Changing your attitude would be a good start, Jared," Sam roared, looking absolutely beside himself.

"How do you expect me to change my attitude, when I learn from the best? Maybe it's time you changed _your_ attitude," Jared retorted.

"What is going on?" Emily intervened, glaring at both of them.

"Why don't you ask Sam?" Jared said, throwing his arms up in the air. "He's the one who started this!"

"What is he on about?" Emily demanded of Sam. He appeared awestruck for a second as he gazed at her, but quickly recovered.

"_Jared_ - " he spat out his name " - has been thinking of ditching us for quite some time now. Apparantly I'm the one to blame!" Sam snarled. There was a heavy silence. I could only stare at Jared, completely bewildered. What? He wanted to quit the pack - why? They were his brothers, they needed him - why would Jared want to throw it all away?

I had a horrible feeling I already knew the answer.

"What?" Emily asked Jared, confused. "Why would you want to leave the pack?"

"Haven't you guessed yet?" Sam yelled. "_Her_!"

He pointed at me, directing all his rage and frustration at me through his eyes. I was frozen, aware everyone was now gazing at me. A few things clicked into place in my mind. So that was why Sam had been acting so cold with me; ever since the day I had first met him, he had barely spoken or looked at me, and I couldn't for the life of me understand why. Maybe this was the reason. Maybe he thought I was trying to take Jared away from the pack.

Jared had begun to shake with anger, violently. I watched as Emily and Quil backed away, their faces wary. Sam was also shaking, and they both glared at each other ferociously. They tried to stare the other down, as I waited with bated breath. I felt scared, afraid one of them would hurt the other, and I was confused. Jared had never mentioned anything to me, about any of this. I didn't want him to give up anything that made him happy.

Jared, so discreetly I don't think anyone besides me noticed, whispered something out of the corner of his mouth to Sam. Sam let out a roar of rage, and then it happened.

He fell to his knees, hair shooting out of his skin, his limbs stretching so that he was becoming taller… the werewolf rounded on Jared. Inside, I was screaming. I wouldn't be able to bear it if I watched Jared get hurt, right in front of my eyes… because of me.

But then, Jared was transforming… I watched, horrified, as my fiancé suddenly became a werewolf. And something attacked me. I didn't know how I would react before now, and I was surprised by the emotions swarming in as Jared disappeared, and a wolf took his place. I was afraid. I didn't want to be afraid, but I couldn't control the terror that had frozen me in place.

The werewolves collided, the noise deafening my ears. I watched as they bit and scratched one another, growling menacingly, too petrified to move. But someone was pulling me away… I followed reluctantly, torn between not wanting to leave Jared, yet wanting to leave the werewolf behind.

**Hope you liked it!! Please review, and i WILL update as soon as i can!! Hurrah!! loadza love, cb xoxoxoxox**


	9. Anger

**Ah, i noticed some of u had questions in ur reviews, and all will be revealed...immediately. By the way, to all the people who said this story was in their opinion the best on fanfic, has anyone ever told you how AMAZING _you_ are?? Thanks for everyone's reviews and suggestions, you all make me smile! Enjoy! xxxxxxx**

* * *

I had suffered through a lot of emotions ever since that day, the day Jared imprinted. I didn't realise I could be capable of so much fear, and worry, and doubts, or that any person could be capable of so many draining emotions. But once I believed, they all melted away. And then I didn't think it was possible I could be so happy. Adding to the list was the intense panic I had felt as I waited for Jared to return from the battle, and the immense relief I felt when he was in my arms again.

I'd been through all of that, and yet none of it compared to how I felt now.

I was confused. I was frightened. But I had registered a new emotion, one I wasn't used to feeling. Anger.

What was Jared thinking? Was he actually insane? I didn't want him to leave the pack. Whatever his reasons were, I doubted they could be good enough to even consider leaving the pack. He was hurting everyone in the pack by his thoughts, yet they would put the blame on the person they believed really responsible. Me.

I didn't deserve Sam looking at me like that. None of this was in any way my idea, or plan, and I was innocent. I didn't know exactly what Sam had against me, but I sure as hell felt like torturing him until I found out.

I felt close to my breaking point. I knew this wasn't like me at all, and I tried to calm down. The Kim everyone knew wasn't an angry person; she accepted everything as it was, and never tried to change the course of action, no matter how much she wanted to. I had wanted Jared to stay with me, not to fight, but I never said anything when I should have. Because that's what I do. I procrastinate, I wait until it's too late, and then I have to suffer through my regrets.

More than anyone, I was angry at myself. I let things happen. Maybe if I had confronted Sam at the start, things would have turned out differently. Or maybe they would have turned out exactly the same, but I would have made things worse. Maybe, maybe, maybe. But I knew that no matter what the situation, I would have never have found the courage to ask anyone why they weren't particularly friendly towards me. Like I said, I just let things happen.

Maybe I had to stop standing back and watching, and actually intervening. Would things be better? Or would they be worse? Or would there be no change, except for me suddenly looking like a fool, trying to change things that weren't supposed to be changed?

I began to pace. I had never been a pacer, but I felt so much frustration and confusion, and I couldn't sit still and wait for the two of them to stop trying to kill each other. I guess I was trying to work off the restless energy I felt. I wanted to go out there and do something, yet I didn't feel brave enough to actually do anything. It was a vicious circle, talking myself into it and then chickening out, only to think of reasons for talking myself into it again.

"Kim? Are you alright?" It was Emily, concerned, yet slightly hesitant. Her eyes followed me as I walked the route up and down the living room I had mapped out.

"Fine," I said, my tone unintentionally sharp.

"OK," she said quietly. I paced for a few more minutes, starting to feel guilty for snapping at Emily. This wasn't her fault. I wondered whether Sam had mentioned anything about this situation to her, but then I remembered her expression when Sam shared the news. She hadn't had a clue, just like me. I was about to apologise when the front door slammed, and the words died on the way. Sam stormed into the room, looking unharmed, yet still furious.

"Jared's waiting for you outside," he said to me, not quite meeting my eyes. I didn't reply; I just left immediately. I didn't want to talk to him. I felt a dull ache in my chest; it was Jared I wanted to talk to. I'd had to survive without him quite enough for one day.

He was outside the front door, and he looked up at me anxiously when I approached him. His sapphire eyes searched mine, seeking something I couldn't fathom. I momentarily forgot myself, and became lost in his eyes once again (this was quite a regular thing). He didn't seem hurt in any way and I felt a sense of relief for that, but the force of my emotions surprised me once again, and I found myself leading the way towards the car.

Jared followed me, silently. As I climbed into the passenger seat, I recalled what I had been like earlier, as Jared dropped me here, before the fight. I had been fidgety, almost dying with apprehension and fear. It was hard to believe that had only been this morning. I felt like several days had passed, a whirlwind of colours, sounds, shapes and emotions.

As Jared snapped his door shut, I looked up at him. He had his lips pressed together, and he looked like he was trying to hide a smile.

"What the hell is so funny, Jared?" I asked, in clipped tones. The corner of his mouth twitched, and I became even more annoyed. "I can't think of anything remotely funny."

"I was just thinking about how sexy you are when you're angry."

Once again, words died on the way out of my mouth, and I forgot completely what I was going to say. I glared at him, trying to decide whether to be flattered and embarrassed, or whether to attack him for trying to distract me and change the subject. And on top of it all, laughing at me when I'm genuinely annoyed. He just grinned at me, and I settled for sighing and rolling my eyes.

"You annoy me," I said, and he laughed. We were silent, as he started the engine and began the drive back to my house. It was sunset, I noticed with a shock. The day had dragged, yet passed so quickly. I felt mentally exhausted. I rubbed my temple, feeling the unwelcome beginnings of a headache.

"Jared, will you please tell me what the hell happened back there?" I asked, eyeing his expression, which had become resigned.

"Kim, it's nothing to do with you, I swear," he said firmly.

"Yes it is!" I said. "You heard Sam! I caused… whatever that was."

"Sam is just too afraid to blame me," Jared said, furious again. "Cos' he knows I can actually defend myself."

"And I can't?" I asked quietly, wondering if that was how Jared saw me. Weak, obedient? Helpless?

"That's not what I meant," Jared said, his anger fading away. He took one hand off the wheel and held mine in it tightly. I waited for him to explain, but he had lapsed into thought, and I had lost any concept of patience, especially after the day I had had.

"Why do you want to leave the pack?" I asked the question that had been causing me the most bother. Why did Jared want to walk away from something truly unimaginable, something he was a complete part of, so much that it was almost impossible for him to walk away from it? I wasn't a good enough reason.

Jared sighed, his eyes sad. I hated it. He obviously didn't want to leave. And I wouldn't let him. I was going to talk him out of it, no matter what.

"It's complicated," he said carefully. This evasive answer annoyed me. If he was testing me, waiting to see if this time, I'd just accept it and not push it any further, he was sadly mistaken.

"Don't give me that wussy answer," I snapped. He smiled briefly but quickly rearranged his face, eyeing the sparks that I hoped were shooting out of my eyes. His eyes remained amused, and I was even more annoyed that he wasn't taking this seriously. Because it was serious; it wasn't some kind of joke.

"OK," he said. He stopped the car, and I realised with a small shock we were already at my house. He made no effort to exit the car, so I just removed my seatbelt and sat back, watching him, waiting for his explanation.

"Right, this might sound really bad when I say it out loud…"

"Out with it, Jared."

"Right," he said, trying to suppress another smile. I waited impatiently. The humour faded away as he thought about his answer.

"I promised you I wouldn't hurt you, Kim. And I made that promise with every intention of keeping it to the best of my ability. I vowed that you would never be exposed to any danger, ever. And then I realised that… I had broken my word the minute I gave you it. _I_ am dangerous."

I opened my mouth to object, but he held up his hand, indicating that I shouldn't interrupt. I obeyed, though desperate to convince him otherwise. I felt safe with him, always. He was always trying to eradicate my fears and insecurities, and I felt compelled to do the same for him.

"People get hurt, when hanging out with werewolves. Look at Emily…" he trailed off, staring into space. "Sam hurt her, badly. I know he didn't mean to, and I feel his remorse for it every day. But still… he loves her more than anything, and he still was able to hurt her. Which puts me in the same situation." He smiled at me sadly. "I don't want to be a werewolf, if it means I'd be putting you in danger every day. Sam might be able to live with it, but I don't think I'd ever forgive myself if I hurt you."

I squeezed his hand, hating seeing him upset like this. I felt a rush of love filling me completely, drowning out my rage. When he put it that way, there was no way I could be angry with him. He cared for me so much, and the feeling was mutual. Neither wanted to see the other hurt.

"Of course, Sam could hear what I was thinking, and he didn't like it," Jared continued after a pause. His face twisted a little when he spoke of Sam. "I was making him feel guilty, and he resented my thoughts of leaving the pack. And then he started thinking all this stuff that _really _pissed me off. For so long, there had been just Emily. And now there's you, and he resents the fact that you just _swanned in without suffering any hardships_," he said, imitating Sam's voice.

I was outraged. "He _what_?" I shrieked, my voice very high. "I've hardly just _swanned in_! What, would he rather if you mauled and scarred me, too? Would I be accepted into his little gang then?" I fumed, knowing my words hadn't exactly been sensitive to Emily's situation, and feeling like a bitch because I didn't honestly care at that moment. Jared winced a little at my words. I hoped I hadn't been too blunt, but then it became clear that that wasn't what was bothering him.

He reached over and stroked my cheek, leaning in closer towards me. My heart automatically sped up, and my breathing became irregular. He examined my face for a while, appearing to memorise every inch of my skin. I simply watched his eyes trace over my face.

"I would never scar your face," he whispered, his breath leaving a gentle caress on my skin. "It's too gorgeous." I blushed, and he laughed, feeling my face burning under his already blazing fingers.

"Oh, be quiet," I said, feeling very self-conscious.

"Make me," he said, his eyes twinkling.

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**I gotta say, i have lots of love for the last two sentences...! xxxxx **


	10. What I've Done

**Author's Note 1: Hello!! Thanks 4 all ur amazin reviews (except 4 the one that said it went down the drain coz of the 'Sam-bashing', but yeah yeah watevaaaa)!! Well, this twist in the story was inspired by someone's suggestion in a review - i hadn't planned on the story going this way but the idea stuck with me!! Whoever suggested it (please forgive me that i can't remember who it was, sorri!!) can take full credit for the idea!! Anywayz, please enjoy this chapter, because i believe this is the best chapter i've ever written. xxxxxxx**

**Author's Note 2: While writing a certain sentence, a dance song popped into my head, and the lyrics really fitted with the story, so even if you haven't a clue of the song (and i couldn't tell you who sings it either, coz i dunno), you can appreciate the lyrics when you read the said sentence!! xxxxxxx**

_I don't wanna see the sunrise/ I don't wanna see the sun/ I don't wanna see the sunrise/ Cos' when the morning comes/ It'll take you away from me/ Tomorrow you'll be gone/ So far away from me/ I don't wanna see the sun…_

* * *

A thought had occurred to me, and I was trying to ignore it. It was something I didn't want to think about, but I knew there was too much truth in it, and that I needed to do something about it. It was the only option I could see, but the thought of carrying it out made my stomach churn, and my heart ache. I really didn't want to do it, but it wasn't the time to be selfish. This was about Jared, and it had always been about Jared. I would not be the reason he was going to be thrown out of his own pack.

I was lying in bed, waiting for Jared to arrive. I had left the window open, and I had pulled the covers around me to shield myself from the icy draft. I had been smiling a moment ago, as I thought of Jared coming to 'warm me up', as he put it, but then I was attacked by the plan my mind was formulating, the one my heart didn't want to consider, the one my heart didn't want to hear anything about.

So now I was wincing as the waves of crushing trepidation attacked me, churning my stomach, making me feel sick. I really didn't want to do this. But I knew I had to. It was for him. It was all for him.

I tried to distract myself. I thought about earlier. Jared and I had talked for ages in the car, until my mother had come home. I tried to convince him not to leave the pack, but he stuck to his reasons for doing so like glue. I had wanted to order him, but what if he genuinely not happy in the pack, and had been thinking about leaving anyway? I didn't want to be the reason he was unhappy. So I hadn't known what to do.

He didn't know how lucky he was. He was part of something so absolutely; it was prophesised and he would always be a part of it, even if he left. I didn't have that. I didn't belong to anything; for all intents and purposes I was alone. I knew I had Jared… I was attacked by dread once again.

He said he had to go sort things out. I don't know whether this meant leaving the pack or patching things up with Sam. I didn't ask. Night had fallen, casting a large navy blanket over the once blue sky, the sun setting on the most emotionally charged day of my whole life.

I waited for Jared. I wanted him here with me, so I could appreciate his presence, tell him how much I loved him, and marvel once again at my daydream come true. Yet I wanted him to take as long as possible and prolong his arrival, so I could still anticipate seeing him again, because I wasn't sure when I would be able to wait for him again.

I didn't want to think about that. I rolled over, so that I was staring at the wall. I would think about that when I absolutely had to, and not a moment before.

I wondered whether I had always been a masochist. I was constantly trying to find a way to take any happiness out of my life. But then I reminded myself that I wasn't being selfish. This was for Jared. I had to remember that. I wasn't the only person in the universe. I was trying to keep him happy, and if I got hurt in the process… as long as he was happy the pain was worth it.

My window creaked. I tensed slightly, but I knew it was only Jared. I wanted to turn around to see him, but I was exhausted and drained, and I found my body wouldn't respond. I listened to the sound of his footsteps across the floor, my heart thudding.

"Hello," he breathed in my ear, sending shivers down my spine, hindering my regular breathing, causing my heart to go crazy. He kissed my cheek, and continued spreading kisses down my chin and neck. I was unable to think straight, never mind breathe. I wanted to say something in greeting, but his kisses were too distracting, and I completely forgot how to use my voice.

I shifted so that I was lying on my back, my face looking up into his. He was smiling, his eyes awestruck and saturated with love, and I very nearly decided to just disregard the plans entirely, because they wouldn't be worth it if I couldn't have this everyday. And I could have this everyday. I didn't have to go through with my plans. But as much as I didn't want to admit it, my reasons were valid, and this was for Jared. I would not be selfish.

He lowered his lips to mine, and I felt my willpower crumbling. I ran my fingers through his hair with one hand; my other I had placed on the back of his neck, holding him to me. His hands were holding my face gently, and I realised that if I died tomorrow, I would die extremely happy. Jared was the single most amazing thing in my life, and even though it was a giant cliché to say it, he was the closest thing to heaven I could ever imagine. Nothing else could possibly compare to his kiss, his touch, or how special he made me feel, how loved and appreciated.

He had made me feel like I had actually mattered, like I was someone, like I had been put on this earth for a reason. I had thought I would have been doomed to spend my life with my dreams right in front of me, but just beyond my reach. Never fulfilled, never completely happy. Jared had given me so much, fixed me when I thought I was permanently damaged, given life to an empty shell.

Which led me to my conclusion, my reasons. How could I not give back? I couldn't do all the taking, I couldn't be that selfish, as much as I wanted to. Jared deserved more than that. He deserved to feel the way he had always made me feel; like I belonged. No one likes being an outsider, and I knew that more than anyone.

Jared belonged to that pack. And I was in the way.

I would not be the reason we would both be outsiders. To me, being isolated with no one but Jared wasn't a bad thing, because Jared was all I needed anyway. But I wouldn't do that to Jared. There was more to his life than just me.

So I had formulated my plan, thought out all the details. It would break both of our hearts, but in the long run, maybe in a few years, our wounds would heal. We may be left with scars that would never fade, but at least Jared would have the pack to keep his head up. I, however, would have to make do on my own.

* * *

Jared pulled away from the kiss, grinning, and in one swift movement, he was under the covers, holding me in his arms. I snuggled into his warm embrace, knowing I'd have to pull away in a few minutes due to excessive heat, and savouring every moment in his arms. With a heavy heart, I realised I may never experience his embrace again, if I were to go through with my plan.

"Love you," he said sleepily, and I was nearly reduced to tears. How could I hurt him, the way I was about to? Did I even love him? I had to remind myself again that it was because I loved him, that I had to hurt us both.

"Me too," I said, blinking away my tears. Jared would find a way to be happy without me, I knew he would. It was me I should have been worried about, but I couldn't even bear my own thoughts at the moment. I hated myself.

"Did you leave the pack?" I asked him, needing to know the answer. If he had, my plan was destroyed, and I was too late.

"No," he said, with a yawn. "I talked with Sam and we're cool, but I'm still considering it. I don't know."

I nodded, breathing a sigh filled with both relief and pain. It wasn't too late. But it just meant there was nothing to stop me carrying out my plan. I wondered if I had enough strength to even carry it out, but I knew I would gather it from somewhere when the time came.

I reluctantly separated myself from Jared slightly, as I felt myself starting to burn. He kept his arms around me, and I allowed them, not wanting to be completely without his touch. Jared fell asleep quickly, exhausted from the battles of the day, and I watched him, unable to sleep myself. His face was peaceful in slumber, and I wondered if that would last after tomorrow.

I felt sick as I thought of tomorrow. That would have to be the day, because if I left it any longer, I would never be able to leave at all. It would have to be like plaster - rip it off, endure the eye-watering pain, and wait for it to fade. It would only hurt us both more if I pulled it off, bit by bit.

I waited for sleep to claim me, but it had deserted me. I was tortured, as I was forced to watch the sleeping face of the guy I loved, and watch the sun rise, signalling the start of the new day, the day I would have to leave him behind.

* * *

I had my eyes closed, even though I knew I wouldn't fall asleep. I just didn't want to watch the time fly away. I felt instinctively when Jared woke, because his eyes watched me. I could have opened my eyes to show I was awake, but I was afraid the second I became lost in his eyes I would abandon my plan. I was looking for any excuse not to carry it out, and I would not let my heart dictate my mind.

My heart leapt as I felt him press his lips gently to mine briefly, and I felt his weight leave the bed as he got up. I knew he was probably going home to get changed, but I wanted to call out to him, and tell him not to go. I listened until all I could hear was silence, and then I opened my eyes.

He was gone. A single tear slid down my cheek, but I wiped it away hurriedly. It was now or never. I got up and dressed automatically, while shutting down. I couldn't allow myself to feel. I knew if I gave into my emotions, I would break down crying. This was way worse than the tidal wave of panic I had felt before; this was quite simply my heart tearing into two.

I had no time for crying, so I refused to feel. I became numb, a shell, a corpse. It was only my brain that kept working, sending impulses to my arms, commanding them to pack; sending impulses to my legs, commanding them to walk out of the front door. A note for Jared was left on my pillow, asking him not to come after me, and explaining why I had done this: for him. Hopefully he would understand my reasons. A note for my mother was left on the kitchen table, telling her I'd be fine and not to worry, and I'd ring her soon. There wasn't much I could say to her, but hopefully she wouldn't blame Jared too much. There was no way I could explain because she wouldn't understand, so the best I had to hope for was that she would accept that this was what I needed to do.

I entered the woods, walking the same path Jared and I had once walked. I tried not to think of him too much, because my heart cracked into another little piece. I concentrated on my plan. Jared usually ran through the woods to my house as a werewolf at night, because it was faster than taking his car and driving around the forest. He had to collect his car in the mornings to pick me up, to take me to school on weekdays, or at the weekends either up to the pack, or he'd drive to somewhere where we could just spend time together, and talk.

So he was now getting his car, but I knew I mightn't have long. Despite my request, I knew he would come after me, try to find me. My pace quickened. If I kept going south, sooner or later I'd end up on a motorway, and I could hitch my way to another town, somewhere far from here.

I could only see emptiness as I looked ahead into the future I had mapped out for myself. It would be a life of loneliness, and I'd be searching for something I had already found, but left behind. I almost turned around and went back, but I forced my legs to keep moving in the same direction. This was the only way I could get Jared to stay in the pack; I wouldn't be in the way anymore.

I kept walking, refusing to feel, refusing to think any longer. I had my mp3 player with me, and I found I couldn't even listen to my Linkin Park music anymore, because every song reminded me of him in some way. I left 'What I've Done' on repeat, using the lyrics as a mantra.

_I'll face myself/ cross out what I've become/ erase myself/ I'm forgetting what I've done…_

I grew tired after what felt like hours, but I didn't stop. The sun began to set, just barely visible through the mass of trees. I was barely able to comprehend that I had walked all day without a break, but there was much I was still unable to comprehend. Like the fact I would never see Jared again.

This thought slammed into me, taking the breath from my lungs. I tripped over a tree root and landed on my knees on the ground. I didn't bother to struggle back up. I started to sob, gasps of misery that racked through my whole body, tears pouring from my eyes unrelenting, the force of what I had done finally hitting me for the first time. I had left him behind. And I would never see him again. I had walked away from the one true love of my life, and I was filled with so much regret and longing, I could barely breathe.

Almost on cue, rain began to fall from the sky, lightly at first, before lashing down on me like icy needles. I crawled under the shelter of a tree, the rain mixing with my tears. The shelter wasn't much, and didn't keep out the rain completely, but I found I couldn't care. I wanted to drown here. I stared into the gloomy masses of tree trunks, seeing nothing but nothing before me. I had started to shake with cold, and I curled up into a ball, squeezing my eyes shut, trying to forget about everything.

Fatigue attacked me, and I felt my limbs aching from the miles and miles I had walked, the restless night I had spent before it, all sneaking back up on me. I gratefully submerged myself into unconsciousness, the sound of the rain fading from my hearing.

But just before I lost all consciousness, I felt strong, warm arms lift me from the ground, and hold me tightly in a familiar embrace.


	11. Never Let Go

**Heehee. U guys are funi. Threatening to hit me with fish, shouting at ur computer screens... heeheehee. But seriously though, the reviews are so completely and absolutely amazing, just like the people leaving them (I LOVE YOU GUYSSSSS!!). Now before you can delve into this chapter, just some quick announcements: the bad news is, i may not be able to update for about two weeks, because of the GODDAMN summer tests...aaaargh!! But, i PROMISE, with every fibre of who i am, to update with a big long fat chapter to compensate when i am finished them. Hurrah! Summer, so soooon!! To those who asked me was it Jared at the end of the last chapter... tchah, well duh!! "familiar embrace"? It was hardly her mother, was it - snigger snigger snort. I'm a sap for romance, and i wasn't about to introduce a twist. Oh, and someone asked was i British - nope, better, i'm Irish!! Sha la la la. OK, so enjoy this, and leave another lurrrvely review, and the next chapter will be FABULICIOUS, I PROMISE!! Loadsa lurrrve, crrrrystal xxxxxxxxxxx **

* * *

I don't know how long I slept. I felt like I was in a coma; I knew I was still alive, and I was struggling to awake, but my body didn't want to cooperate with my brain. I felt drugged, hazy, sluggish… but I forced my eyes open. They felt like they were super-glued shut, but I needed my vision. I had to see if the person holding me in his arms was really him.

"Kim?" It was the voice every part of me had ached to hear. My heart throbbed at the sound. It was still broken, torn in two by my own stupid actions, but it had begun to beat again at the sound of his voice. I forced my eyes to focus. At first, all I could see was a dazzling white light, before it faded, and outlines became much clearer. I looked up into Jared's face.

For a second, the world seemed to stop, as I looked into his eyes. Everything faded into insignificance; I even believed I stopped breathing. I had convinced myself that I would never see his face again, and to look into his eyes at that moment was almost surreal; it felt like I was gazing at him for the first time, truly appreciating him. He gazed back, his eyes an anthology of emotions. I could see the world had stopped for him also, because he appeared awestruck, mesmerised by my eyes, reminding me of the day he had imprinted. We were both unable to look away, for an immeasurable amount of time.

The spell began to fade slowly, and we slowly came back from the small world we had momentarily immersed ourselves into. We held each others' gaze, searching. I found the emotions I hadn't wanted to find in his eyes, yet knew would inevitably be there: pain, hurt. And I hated myself, because I had hurt him. The plan I had talked myself into now didn't seem like such a good idea anymore; not on the other side of the fence. It hadn't worked, and all I had succeeded in doing was wounding both of us.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, feeling the tears welling up in my eyes. His eyes became a sapphire blur, and I was unable to read his expression, know what he was feeling. I didn't want to cry, but I could tell tears were imminent, but I knew they would make him sad too. The last thing I wanted was to cause him even more unhappiness. I had caused him enough already.

I hadn't done this right. I had been given a fairytale, and I had tried to do everything in my power to give it an unhappy ending. At the start, I refused to believe it was real. I carried doubt and fear around with me, convincing myself that they wouldn't let me get hurt. What a stupid idea that was. When I finally decided to believe in the fairytale, and for the first time in my life experienced true joy, I turned around and decided I wasn't worthy after all, and I was just in his way. I had messed everything up. Why didn't I just believe, just follow my instincts, and my heart, all of which were screaming at me to just tell him I loved him, and never let him go?

Basically, I've never felt like I've deserved happiness. There are other people who need it more than I do. I managed in the past, dealing with emptiness and darkness, just unrealistic daydreams lifting me out of my obscurity, even if only for five minutes.

But if all people deserve to be happy, surely that includes me, too? I can't be the only black spot in a blaze of light. I hated to think selfish thoughts, but that wasn't fair on me. I had never asked for much out of life. Just Jared. And he had been handed to me, to my complete shock and surprise, committed to me in such an unbreakable way. He _was_ mine. I couldn't do anything about it, because he wouldn't let me. And I didn't want to do anything about it either. I had been granted the wish I had made at the start of my fairytale story, and I still insisted on looking for the loophole.

Well, I wanted my happy ending. I was sick of creating all this pain, for both him and me, just because I was too afraid to reach out and receive what I wanted the most.

Jared readjusted me smoothly in his arms, pulling me into a hug. My feet couldn't find the floor, so I wrapped them around his waist instead. I buried my face in his shoulder, willing myself not to bawl crying; I breathed in his scent, while he hugged me so tightly I found it difficult to breathe. But neither of us cared. We held each other tightly, the same words spinning in our heads, words we vowed to with everything we had: _never let go_.

* * *

I pulled back eventually, reluctantly. I wanted to hold him all day, breathing in the scent of him, but I knew we couldn't stay that way forever. My muscles in my legs had already started to protest. I gazed into his face again and brushed his hair out of his eyes. He simply watched me, adoration filling his eyes, so much I felt undeserving of it, not after the way I had tried to hurt him.

I gently disentangled myself from him, and he set me gently down on the ground. I refused to let go completely; I kept my arms around his neck. He had to bend his head a little, but he didn't seem to mind. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and his warm arms thawed my icy skin. I cherished every single second, committing every second in his arms to my memory, filing it, saving it, locking it away so I would never lose what it felt like to be held by him.

"Why?" His question sent chills everywhere. His voice was low and quiet, yet it broke the silence of the world we had created for ourselves, the one where it was just the two of us, and no words needed to be said. There was pain underlying in the expressionless voice he had attempted, which caused me pain too. I hated what I had done. Jared hadn't deserved this.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, unable to speak louder, fearing it would take the element of magic about our reunion out of the air. "I thought… I thought…" I struggled to finish the sentence. The reason I had once deemed so valid, seemed so pathetic and melodramatic now. But he needed to understand the reasons I had had once, even if now I didn't agree with them. "I thought I was in your way."

Jared looked like he was trying not to roll his eyes. He breathed out heavily through his nose, and began shaking his head. I knew what was coming. He was about to deny everything, reassure me, tell me he loved me… but I didn't need to hear it. I already knew. I knew I was more important to him than anything, I knew he loved me, I knew I wasn't in his way, and he had never even thought of me in that respect. I hadn't believed it before, but I did now.

"I love you," I added, distracting him, cutting him off from the reassurances he'd been about to deliver. The light my words had sparked in him, the fire that had ignited in him to deny my fears and thoughts, slowly went out.

"I love you too," he said fiercely, the passion behind his words stunning my mind. "Never ever forget that."

I saw the resolve form in his eyes to kiss me, and I had already had the same resolve… and then we were kissing, tears behind my closed lids for how stupid I had been and how lucky I was, marvelling at how our bodies seemed to fit together so perfectly, because he had been made for me, he was my other half, and nothing could change it, not even myself; he had been my daydream, my secret wish on my birthday, the starring role in my dreams; I lived for him now, he lit up my life, he was everything I had ever wanted, and without him there was nothing… there was no one else in the world I would love as much, and no one who would love me as much.

The world once again ceased to spin, time once again ceased to pass, as Jared and I forgot about everything besides each other, and held the reason for life and love in our arms.


	12. Fiery Kisses

**Oh dear. I was _supposed_ to be studying for my German oral exam, but then i got bored and accidently wrote this chapter!! But i doubt anyone will complain!! I feel guilty now for making ye wait so long for the next chappie, so i'll _try_ and update as soon as i can. Promise. Please enjoy, because i loved writing it, and the reviews are _seriously_ astounding, just like the reviewers. Lurrrrve xxxxxxxxxxxxx**

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Jared gripped me in his arms tightly, and I contented myself to rest my head on his shoulder. Despite my protests and my reassurances that I'd be able to walk, he wouldn't let me, and was now proceeding to carry me through the forest. I didn't argue with him, since my legs _were_ killing me, and more than anything I just wanted to be close to him. I couldn't believe I had almost left this forever.

A white fog had settled in the forest, making it hard to see the trees before they were right in front of our faces. Jared walked slowly, taking great caution not to trip while holding me. I felt as though I was slowing us both down, and we might get home faster if he let me walk, but he ignored my suggestion. Every now and then, he'd hold me tighter still to his chest, lost in thoughts I suspected were haunting him. Ever since he found me, he hadn't let me go.

And I didn't want to let him go either. We'd nearly lost each other, all down to me, and it had just opened our eyes to how much we loved each other, and how hard it would be to live without each other. It had taught us a lesson I doubted we would forget, and the blame for teaching us this lesson would always lay at my feet.

I watched his face as he walked. His eyes were focussed straight ahead of him, but flickered onto mine every few minutes. I gave him a small smile every time this happened, and he winked at me in response, his eyes softening.

It was hard to tell what time of day it was, as the sky was a bright white, with no visible sun. It was drizzling lightly, but being in close proximity to Jared prevented me from feeling the cold.

There was so much I wanted to say to him. I wanted to apologise further for trying to leave him, and tell him it wasn't his fault, but it was just me trying to make myself miserable again, because that's all I knew how to do. I wanted to ask him about the pack, and tell him he wasn't leaving it and I didn't care what his excuses were. I wanted to ask him had anything changed between us because of this. Did he still trust me? Did he trust me with his heart, and trust that I would never try to break it again?

But as always, words were not important when it came to me and Jared. Our eyes were able to communicate more than what we could say. I could see he was unsure, that he wanted to trust me, but he had doubts, and I couldn't blame him. I hoped he could see that there was no way I could leave him again, not after I had nearly destroyed myself. I couldn't live without him, literally. Without him, I had nothing.

After a few hours of silence, I wanted to hear his voice. I didn't know how far away we were now from La Push, but it didn't bother me. I had Jared all to myself, for a little while at least.

"Jared," I said, the sound of his name breaking through the dense silence. His eyes snapped to me immediately at the sound of my voice, and I knew I had his undivided attention. "I am sorry, you know," I said, overcome with an urge to remind him of this, feeling a lump in my throat.

"I know," he said, his voice a little hoarse from lack of use. He smiled at me, and once again held me a little tighter to his chest. We were quiet for a few minutes. I began to worry I was getting too heavy for him, and that maybe he was tired and wanted to rest.

"I can walk for a bit," I said, and watched him roll his eyes.

"Kim," he said. "Don't start."

"I don't want you to collapse suddenly from exhaustion!" I protested, a little annoyed. I was only being concerned. He grinned at my tone. It always amused him when I got annoyed with him, mainly because it rarely happened. It didn't help my mood, most of the time. But I could never stay mad at him for long. His grin was infectious.

"It takes more than that to get me down," he said.

"So what will it take to get you to sit down for five minutes?" I asked, exasperated.

He winked at me. "Persuasion." My eyes narrowed, as I considered possible ways to convince him to sit down and rest. He watched me out of the corner of his eye, still grinning at the determined expression on my face.

Before he had a chance to react, I wrapped my hands around the back of his neck and pulled myself up, planting a kiss firmly on his mouth. He was surprised, but kissed me back, stumbling a little. I felt my back slam against something; Jared had walked into a tree. Neither of us minded. He kept me pressed against the tree, returning my spontaneous kiss with enthusiasm. My head started to spin, and I felt breathless. His hands were in my hair, and then they were caressing my face, and my heart was beating so fast it was almost painful.

I never wanted to pull away. The moment that had started out as something innocent and playful had turned into something intense, scary yet exciting at the same time. Neither of us broke the kiss, neither of us felt any intention of doing so. I was becoming dizzier with every passing second, and all I could think about was Jared's scorching lips on mine, spreading fire throughout my skin, his hands burning everywhere they touched.

Eventually, inevitably, he broke the kiss. Breathing as heavily as me, he rested his forehead against mine, seeming reluctant to bring any more distance between us. His eyes remained closed. It seemed I had lost my memory; I was finding it hard to remember anything that had happened to me recently. I struggled to regain my composure, still able to vividly recall the fire that had coursed through me.

"Persuaded enough?" I asked breathlessly. His eyes flew open and gazed into mine, a grin spreading across his face.

"Not really, no," he said, and I rolled my eyes. He chuckled. "You know, Kim, all you had to do was ask."

"Oh, shut your face," I said playfully, beginning to feel a little embarrassed. I usually felt too shy in taking the initiative in kissing him, even though I would have liked to stay permanently attached to his lips. But Jared always managed to make a joke out of things, so I felt self conscious.

"Why don't you go ahead and make me?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. I frowned exasperatedly at his seemingly new expression. He'd better not start saying that every time I asked him to do something. However, the look in Jared's eyes made the frown fade away quickly; I could still see the humour, but they had become incredibly intense.

"Don't think I won't," I said, more confidently than I felt. My heart was beating painfully fast again.

"I dare you," he said, but before he gave me a chance to think, he was kissing me again. The fire returned, and it was more powerful than it had been before. It spread through me, blistering hot, utterly unbelievable. I had to pull away, afraid I was going to lose my head if I got too carried away, if I surrendered to the flames.

"Holy hell," Jared said, resting his forehead against mine once more. He must have felt the burning heat between us too. I couldn't explain why it had suddenly arrived, but I had a theory. We had both thought we were going to have to live without each other, and everything about each other that we had took for granted, we realised again when we were reunited. I hadn't realised how much I needed him, wanted him, craved his touch, until I didn't have him anymore. I didn't know about Jared, but I had the feeling it was more or less the same.

"I'm going to sit down, I think," Jared said, grinning at me a little dazedly. He stepped away from me and sank onto the floor. I sat next to him, resting my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around my waist. I shook my head slightly; it was still swimming.

"How far away from home are we?" I asked him, trying to distract myself from the aftershock of the fiery kisses, and also genuinely curious.

"Another couple of miles, I think," Jared answered. I was shocked, and my head immediately felt clearer. _A couple of miles_? How far exactly had I walked?

"Where… how far away was I when you found me?" I asked in a hushed voice. Jared paused before answering.

"I found you about eight miles into the woods," he admitted. I was unable to get my head around what he had just said. I had never walked barely even a whole mile in my life. How had I managed to walk that far without collapsing? But then again, I remembered sadly, I did collapse. Kind of. When I realised what I had done.

"How did you find me?" I asked, my voice barely audible now. I didn't want to bring this up, not really, but I felt I had to. I needed to know what had been running through his head, how bad the damage I had inflicted was.

"Easy," Jared said, his tone serious. "I transformed and followed your scent."

I nodded. Of course. How extremely obvious. A question occurred to me, and it was out of my mouth before I had a chance to think about it, a chance to think about the potential answer.

"Would you have ever let me go, if that was what I wanted?"

Jared's arm tensed around me, and I could feel the anger exuding from him. I regretted asking the question. What did it matter now, anyway? I was with him, and I had no intention of going anywhere. I cursed myself.

I didn't see it coming. One second, Jared was sitting next to me, and the next he was on his feet, pacing, his feet stomping on the ground angrily. I was startled; he had moved so fast I hadn't seen him, or felt his arm leave my waist.

"Jared?"

"Kim, let me explain something to you. When I found that note…" he trailed off, wincing, and I flinched at his expression. God only knows how much that had hurt him. "I knew, realistically, that you didn't want to go. There were no goodbyes, nothing: just a goddamn note. And I didn't believe the note. I knew you didn't really, honestly _want_ to go. If you had, I knew you would have said it to my face, instead of running away. I knew you probably had your noble reasons or whatever, for leaving, but there's something you don't understand."

All the anger seemed to drain out of him, and he collapsed to his knees in front of me. I couldn't look away from his eyes, horror and pain swarming around my insides.

"There's no way I can live without you, Kim," he said. My eyes started to brim with tears. "I don't have a life without you. You mean more to me than you could possibly ever realise, and I can't understand how you can ever doubt that."

He brushed away the tears now running down my cheeks.

"I'm never letting you go. I don't care if I have to handcuff you to my left arm." I giggled, despite my tears. He smiled at me, nothing but adoration in his eyes now. I felt completely overwhelmed by my own love for him. How could I have ever tried to leave him? The way he had described how he felt about me was exactly the same way I felt about him. I had no life without him either.

He leaned forward and kissed me softly, briefly. The fire wasn't given a chance to ignite, but I had the feeling he was trying to keep a cool and clear head.

"I love you," we said simultaneously, and we smiled.

"Do you forgive me?" I asked, wiping the tears away. "Is there any way you can trust me again. Because I'm not leaving. Not again."

"Damn right you're not. But yeah, I do forgive you," he said, seeing how important it was that he said it, and alleviated my fears. "And I trust you completely."

"Thanks," I said. He took my hand and helped me to my feet.

"We should get moving if we want to be back before dark," he said. "Oh." Something occurred to him, and he frowned. I watched him as he thought.

"What is it?"

"I said I'd let the pack know when I found you, but I completely forgot. Would you mind waiting for a minute?"

"No," I said, not completely sure what he was talking about. He shot me a look I didn't understand, before disappearing into the trees. I became aware of how alone I was after a few minutes. I couldn't hear Jared moving around, and he can't have been that far away. I began to feel a little creeped out. I bit my lip as I waited for Jared to return. What was he doing, anyway? If he was ringing them on a mobile phone surely he could have done it in front of me.

And then it hit me, and I couldn't believe how stupid I had been to not realise it sooner. He had gone to transform. I froze as the realisation washed over me. I wasn't sure how I felt. I was curious, more than anything. The first and only time I had seen him transform, he was a terrifying werewolf, snapping his huge jaws at Sam ferociously. It had scared me. But I felt differently about the whole werewolf thing now. I had accepted it.

A rustling noise behind me made me whirl around, looking around frantically. I remembered the look Jared had given me; it was appraising, assessing me, wondering how I'd react. I knew he was going to show me what he was like as a werewolf, close up. I felt nervous and unprepared.

I watched, my heart banging against my ribs, as the large wolf emerged from behind the trees. It was watching me, it's movements slow and exaggerated, as though it was trying not to scare me. It was absolutely massive, far bigger than I had initially thought. But I didn't feel afraid. I could tell it was Jared.

I would have known it was Jared straightaway, even if I had never known he was a werewolf. The way the wolf walked, with a kind of swagger, was reminiscent of Jared. His fur was exactly the same colour as his beautiful dark hair. And his eyes… no wolf had eyes so deep a sapphire, no wolf's eyes could twinkle like that. I smiled at my fiancé, despite my hesitation.

He took this as an OK to come closer. He still moved carefully, and I tried to stress that I wasn't scared, by beckoning him. He obediently trotted over to my side. His head towered over me, and this did make me feel a little nervous. But then he lay down, so he was at my eye level. His sapphire eyes were hopeful, and I suspected he was waiting for me to freak out and start running, but he hoped that wouldn't be the case.

I stretched my hand out, wanting to stroke the top of his head and see if his fur was as soft as the flop of dark hair on his human head. I was hesitant, but I just wanted to be sure it was OK with him. Without warning, he licked my hand, leaving a trail of drool across my fingers.

"Nice," I muttered, wiping it on the end of my jeans. The wolf just winked at me, and I couldn't help but laugh.

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**Hope you liked!! xxxxxx**


	13. Camping

**Oh gawd. OK, firstly, i couldn't get this chapter right at all. I tried to step away from all the angst, a little, because it is a love story after all, and love isn't all about angst and heartbreak. So this chapter is extremely fluffy. You've been warned. So enjoy it for what it is. And also thanks to the people who've faithfully reviewed this story from the start - i love u guys. Thanks for the amazing reviews - the last chapter got a better response than i ever thought it would get!! U guys rock!! Any suggestions are welcome, because i'm running out of ideas. Keep the reviews coming- they keep me writing. Also thanks to candelifera, who inspired the 'What I've Done' chapter. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx lurrve more notes at the end xxxxxxxxxxxx **

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I sat down next to Jared, leaning against him. His fur was so beautifully soft, and I couldn't resist running my fingers through it. He growled in contentment whenever I did this, and it made me smile. The easy effortlessness of our relationship was still apparent and strong, even when he wasn't in human form. I could tell what he was thinking even when he couldn't say it. The fact that he was now a giant dog was almost irrelevant.

I stroked the top of his head and grinned when his eyes closed. I had never had a dog; I had always considered myself a cat person. I scratched his ear, and he growled again. I laughed, marvelling at how insane and impossible, yet how natural this situation was.

"This isn't as scary as I thought it would be," I said. The wolf's eyes flew open, and I recognised the teasing look in them. I pulled my hand away, now wary. I could almost hear Jared planning a way to frighten the life out of me. "Don't you dare start anything," I warned him, pointing my index finger at him threateningly. His eyes continued to twinkle wickedly at me.

He stood up suddenly, and I jumped in fright. He looked much larger than usual when I was sitting on the ground. He stood over me, and carefully lowered his face until it was extremely close to mine. I leaned back, more in reflex than anything, and he made a coughing noise, reminiscent of laughter. He kept leaning towards me, and I kept leaning back, glaring at him.

He growled at me, but it wasn't like his earlier growling; it sounded more menacing. I knew he was only trying to scare me, and he wouldn't really hurt me, but I was beginning to feel alarmed. My heart had begun to speed up, and I became painfully aware of the fact that his jaw was big enough to swallow my head whole, if he was that way inclined.

His tongue lolled out of his mouth, and before I could protest, horrified, he started licking my face and neck, slobbering all over me.

"Jared!" I squealed. "No, stop!"

I tried to shield my face with my hands, squealing and protesting. He was unrelenting, rather like an overenthusiastic dog when its owner arrives home, or something. I was covered in drool. He stopped, thankfully, and bounded away, laughing to himself again. I sat up, wiping at my face and neck with my sleeve. I felt all sticky. I was going to kill him.

Jared came into view again, a human this time, a large grin on his face.

"Jared!" I said, almost too outraged to speak. "That was _foul_."

"You're welcome."

"If you ever do that again, I swear to God, I'll… I'll…" He waited for my insult with his eyebrows raised, amused. I struggled to think of a good one. "I'll… get… you… neutered."

Jared stared at me for a minute, before bursting into a roar of laughter that echoed around the forest. I glared at him for not taking my threat seriously, before succumbing to laughter myself. He tried to hug me, still chuckling, but I dodged him.

"I'm covered in drool, Jared," I protested. It was bad enough that I was covered in it, let alone Jared too.

"So? I couldn't care less, not even if you were covered in bees. And I hate bees."

So I allowed him to put his arms around me. He was still laughing to himself, and I snuggled into his warm embrace. Night had begun to descend, and I knew we wouldn't get back to La Push until late. I worried about my mother. Did she know I was alright? I cursed myself for the way I had left; I ran away like a coward, for my own selfish reasons. And I had hurt Jared, and no matter what, he would always bear the scar.

I pulled away from Jared and smiled up at him. "We should get going," I said. "And I'm walking this time."

"Why don't we…" Jared began, catching onto my arm and stopping me. "Just… camp out here, for the night?"

"Camp?" I asked, not sure if I had heard him correctly.

"Yeah," he said, grinning at me in such a way that I really began to like this idea.

"But we've no tent or anything…" I trailed off as I realised the flaws in this plan.

"I'm sure we'll survive, Kim," he said, rolling his eyes. "And we're hardly going to get cold, are we?" He raised his eyebrows, and I blushed a little, shaking my head. "Well then," he said, and abruptly lay down on the ground. I stared at him. He grinned, and indicated the ground next to him.

"But the ground's all wet," I complained. The rain had been consistent for the past few days, and a light drizzle still fell from the sky. I stared at the ground, wrinkling my nose; it was all muddy and soggy.

Jared rolled his eyes again. "Don't be such a girl," he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me down onto the ground. "You're already covered in drool, anyway. Why not mud?"

I sighed, and lay next to him, ignoring how wet and cold the ground was. We watched as the first stars appeared in the sky, twinkling at us. I couldn't see how I'd be able to sleep, despite how tired I felt. I shifted, trying to get comfortable. The back of my coat and jeans were damp, sending chills through me.

"Are you cold?" he asked, concerned.

"A little," I admitted. Immediately, Jared rolled over onto his side, and pulled me closer to him. I willingly moved towards the heat his body emanated, and my heart began to speed up when I realised how close our faces had become. His eyes still retained some of his earlier humour, and they sparkled with adoration. I smiled at him, trying to control my breathing. It was ridiculous, the effect he had on me sometimes.

He stroked my cheek, brushing away the droplets of rain. The small space between us was pulsing with electricity. I wondered about the fire; would it ignite again? I could still vividly remember the intensity of it. How easy it would be to succumb to it, how hard it was to break away from it.

His face inched towards mine, slowly and deliberately. It seemed he was trying to prolong the moment, and the electricity, the heat, all intensified, almost to the point where I could no longer stand it. He stopped, his lips centimetres away from mine. I struggled with myself not to close the remaining distance between us, because the sweet agonising torture would be worth it. I lost myself in Jared's eyes, trying to discern the emotions in them, but finding my brain way too clouded with Jared's scent to function properly.

Jared, it appeared, could no longer stand the heavy anticipation either. Without warning, his lips crushed mine, and just like I knew it would, the fire ignited. Like a blazing inferno, it rose quickly, spreading through every inch of me, so that I could no longer feel the cold. I didn't even care about the cold anyway. I forgot about everything, only able to feel the fire that burned me, and Jared's urgent lips on mine. The raindrops that landed on my skin almost evaporated, and didn't hold enough moisture to cool me down.

Jared didn't break the kiss, and there was no way I could pull away; half his weight pressed me onto the ground, and I didn't want to pull away anyway… My heart beat out a painful, rapid rhythm, and my skin burned so fiercely I didn't think I'd ever feel cold again.

Jared made a noise like a growl, deep in the back of his throat, which made my heart jump around erratically. The kiss lost any elements of gentleness. I had never, ever imagined being kissed like this, and my mind was spinning; I was burning in the heat, suffocating in his scent. I never wanted it to end, I wanted the boundaries that I hadn't authorised the building of to collapse…

Jared finally broke the kiss, and the fire immediately ceased. I opened my eyes, and his eyes were burning with a fierce intensity, staring straight into mine. My heart skipped another couple of beats.

"What am I going to do with you?" he whispered, shaking his head as if to clear it.

"Do you really want me to answer that question?" I asked, putting my hand over my heart in the hopes it would help it to slow down. Jared sniggered, and rolled his weight off me. His arms snaked around me, and he held me close to his side. I listened to the sound of our breathing, as it slowed to a normal rhythm.

I wondered about the fire. Would we always have to be wary of it? I was afraid to let it take control, because I didn't know what could end up happening. I was afraid of what that meant. Our kisses had always been passionate, but they had never been that intense, or overwhelming, or… _hot_. The thing I was most afraid of, was the fact that I _wanted _to see how high the flames could rise.

Nothing more needed to be said, and I watched the stars and occasional aeroplanes overhead, waiting patiently for sleep. Jared's usual soft snoring didn't commence, so I wasn't the only one awake. We just lay there, buried in our own thoughts, our arms around each other.

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I regained consciousness, but didn't bother opening my eyes. A gentle light pressed against my eyelids, and I could no longer feel the rain. The sun must be shining, I mused. Something occurred to me. I was moving. The feeling of being in motion was almost unnoticeable, rather like being in a car. I opened my eyes, feeling confused. Jared was carrying me in his arms, striding through the forest.

"Why didn't you just wake me?" I said, and Jared's eyes flashed to mine immediately.

"Because I couldn't bear to. You've barely slept as it is." I made a face, the unforgiving memories of me stumbling through the forest, ignoring my body's calls for sleep, before collapsing, dragging themselves up. I barely slept even after I collapsed, needing to wake and confirm my hopes as to whose arms I was in.

"Well I'm up now," I said. "You can put me down - I'll walk."

"I don't mind."

"I know you don't, but I do."

"We're not arguing over this. I'm carrying you. End of."

"Jared!"

"Kim."

"I feel like an invalid."

Jared sniggered. "We're nearly back anyway. So you can just relax." I sighed, knowing I wouldn't win. Jared was able to say no to me much easier now, I noticed. I felt a little relieved about this, remembering my worries at the beginning, afraid I would be the domineering force in the relationship. It was better when we were equal. I still had a little power over him, which I hated, because he would literally do anything for me if I really wanted it. But I knew if he asked me to do something, I wouldn't hesitate. Neither of us were selfish.

I felt a huge sense of apprehension steal over me as the trees began to thin, and it became closer to the time when I'd have to face all that I left behind.

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**Let me know what you're thinkin! Shout out to Ariel and Soccerchick113 for their stellar ideas - me likey a lot!! Ariel, sooo sorri the chapters are so short, but they seem so much longer on Word... I'll do my best!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**


	14. Homecoming

**Ahem ahem, some random notes first: Firstly, everytime i think the reviews couldn't possibly get any better, it happens. Thank you SO, SO much for every single one of them. Secondly, I was asked how old i am: seventeen, and get this: i'm eighteen on the eleventh of December, the DAY BEFORE the Twilight movie is released! Could the universe have given me a better present?? Don't think so!! Thirdly, something hilarious occurred to me last night when i was writing: Jared + Kim JIM!! Hahahahahahahahahaha, couldn't stop laughing!! It's like Bennifer or something!! Bahaha. And fourthly, i don't know if anyone has noticed, but i happen to be a massive Linkin Park fan, and once again one of their songs inspired Kim's feelings at a particular point. This one is 'By Myself'.**

…_I just end up getting hurt again/ by myself/ I ask why, but in my mind I find/ I can't rely on myself/ I can't hold on/ to what I want when I'm stretched so thin/ it's all too much to take in/ I can't hold on/ to anything watching everything spin/ with thoughts of failure sinking in… _

**Enjoy!! xxxxxxxxxxxxx P.S: Excuuuuuuuuse me, Lena, but i DO NOT talk funny!! Aeroplane, airplane... difference much?? Oh, anyway. Lurrrve.**

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"Oh God," I groaned.

"What?"

"Can I just not go home? At all?" My tone was pleading, and I was hoping he'd cave into it, and just run away with me somewhere.

"Kim," Jared said, his tone disapproving. "Your mother has been worried sick about you, and you're going home."

"Fine," I said, a little huffily. Jared grinned, but his eyes were elsewhere, lost in a completely different situation. I watched the changing emotions in them, wondering what he was thinking about.

Jared set me down on the ground gently, and I panicked. I could see my house. I really didn't want to face the music. I loved my mom, she was the greatest, but she wouldn't appreciate me running off without any type of explanation or goodbye, and leaving her alone. I was in trouble.

"Where are you going?" I asked frantically, trying to prolong the moment I would have to walk through the front door. And also, I didn't want Jared to go. I felt uneasy about being without him, for however long a time it would be.

"Nowhere," he promised. "Now go." He kissed my forehead. I groaned again, and reluctantly began to walk back towards the house. I could feel his eyes on me, and I wondered what he was going to do. I was distracted by the front door being wrenched open.

"Uh oh," I said under my breath.

"Kim!" My mother flew out of the door at me and bundled me in her arms. I was a little taken aback, having expected to have been shot at a couple of times. I hugged her back, glad she was OK.

"I'm sorry, Mom," I mumbled, beginning to feel very emotional. I couldn't handle any of this. I was useless at trying to control my emotions. Before Jared, I was an expert at it. Pretending I didn't care, pretending I was fine. Now that I didn't have to do that anymore, I felt out of control. I used to rely on myself; only I could control what I felt and make sure I didn't get hurt. But I had hurt myself, and Jared, and Mom, and I couldn't rely on myself anymore.

I extracted myself gently from my mother's arms. Her eyes were tired, and guilt raged within me. Had I honestly believed that leaving was best? How had I figured that one out? I couldn't believe I had ever been so selfish.

"Where the hell have you been?" She demanded, anger in her tone. I braced myself for the interrogation.

"In the woods. Jared found me and brought me back," I answered honestly.

"You've been in the woods with that boy for two days and nights?"

"Er…"

"I don't believe you."

"I'm telling the truth!" I protested angrily.

"Do you honestly expect me to believe -?"

"Yes! Because it's the truth!"

I stormed passed her into the house, annoyed. I had never told her a lie in my life. If I couldn't tell her the truth, I didn't say anything. I resented the fact that just because Jared had been with me, she thought I would lie about where we were and what we were doing. I hadn't changed overnight into one of _those_ teenage girls.

"Don't you walk away from me!" She had followed me. I twirled around to face her. I didn't want to fight with her.

"Mom, I am sorry, and I'm telling you the truth. I don't want you to be angry."

"Too late! You're grounded, as of now, until further notice. No Jared, no going out anywhere. What the hell are you smiling at?!"

"Nothing," I said, hastily trying to hide my smile. I had just been thinking of how little Jared would think of this arrangement. There was no way he'd stay away from me.

"Humph. Don't think I'm messing, because I'm not. You can do all the chores, since you're going to be at home all day, too."

"I do them anyway," I muttered.

"I heard that!" My mother looked extremely annoyed with me. I knew I was pushing her to the edge, but I couldn't help myself. I didn't want to be dictated at, told what to do.

"I'm going to my room," I said, turning away from her.

"Good!"

"Fine."

I slammed my bedroom door as hard as I could, not caring that it was a very stereotypical thing to do. I stuck Linkin Park in the stereo and pressed play, focussing on 'By Myself' in particular. Another stereotype. Angry teenager, blares her rock music. I turned around to collapse on the bed, and I jumped.

Jared was spread out across it, grinning at me.

"Did you manage to open the window yourself? Miracles do happen," I said grumpily.

"Hello Kim, how are you? I'm fine, thanks for asking. I love you, too," Jared said, amused. I tried to stop the reluctant smile spreading across my face.

"You annoy me," I told him.

"Thanks. You amaze me." I blushed.

"Flattery will get you nowhere when I'm in this mood." Jared heaved himself off the bed and stood very close to me. I felt my heart speed up.

"Flattery gets me everywhere," Jared said, winking at me.

"Yeah, well…" I struggled for words. I couldn't think when he stood this close to me. It was like my brain melted.

"Yes…?" he was grinning wickedly at me, no doubt revelling in the effect he had on me.

"I'm breaking the rules," I said, trying to find something to distract him. And me.

"Yes, I heard," he said, his grin widening. "I love rules. They're so much fun to break."

My heart rate increased at this. The way he was staring at me… I wondered if he was thinking the same thing that I was. I'd feel extremely stupid if he wasn't, but I was pretty certain. I vividly remembered the fire that coursed through me when he kissed me… and how one of us had to take the responsibility to pull away. Was he suggesting… that we break the rule we had somehow made for ourselves: pull away before we succumbed to the flames? My heart was having a complete fit at this idea.

"Well," I said, trying to break the charged spell that had been set upon us. His eyes were intense, and I had to lower mine, before I lost myself in them.

"Shall we go out?" he said, and my eyes met with his again helplessly.

"But I'm grounded."

"So? You're hardly going to get into any worse trouble."

"It's easy for you to say that."

"Yes, it is. So are you going to join me?"

I sighed. "Yeah, alright then." Jared grinned.

"Ladies first," he said, gesturing towards the open window. I made a face at it. There was no way I was going to be able to pull off the grace and dignity that Jared always managed when climbing through it. Sure enough, I stumbled awkwardly out of it, ignoring Jared when he made a big show of climbing elegantly out of it after me.

"Where to?" I asked.

"We're going to see the pack. But unfortunately, I don't have my car, so we'll have to walk it." I shrugged, not bothered by how we got there, as long as I was with Jared. He took my hand, and we made a run for it towards the trees, me praying my mother was in her room and not looking out of the window. The last thing I needed were bars on _my_ window.

We escaped without incident, and began the walk through the trees, Jared still holding my hand tightly.

I felt nervous, about seeing the pack again. I didn't know what their reaction to me would be. I had hurt Jared, and they'd have to resent me a little bit for that. And Sam… he had a brand new reason to hate me. I did like the pack immensely, but I never truly felt like I belonged there. They were Jared's friends; not mine.

I worried about it the whole way there.

* * *

It didn't take us long, surprisingly. Maybe it was because I hadn't noticed the journey. Jared had been silent, lost in his own thoughts, just like I had been in mine. We arrived at Emily and Sam's house, and I felt apprehensive again. I wondered when that feeling would vanish, and I would feel as comfortable as Jared did when going to visit his friends. Because it should vanish; I was sick of being the one always on the outside, the one always left out.

The door burst open and three werewolves wrestled their way out of the narrow door frame; Jacob, Quil and Embry. They were all grinning, and I almost died of shock when Jacob grabbed me and treated me to a rib-crushing hug.

"Kim, you're back!" he said happily, and released me to give Jared a high-five. "I knew you'd find her."

I was staggered, the over-familiarity surprising me again. I was touched, that Jacob was pleased enough to give me a hug, and I couldn't help the blush that coloured my cheeks. The blush that deepened as Quil proceeded to muss my hair and Embry slapped me on the back.

Jared's hand found mine again; he winked at me when I looked up at him, his grin identical to the other three guys.

"Er, hi," I said, shyly.

"Welcome back," Quil told me. I smiled at him. I hadn't really gotten a chance to get to know him, and some of the others, but I knew that he had also imprinted. I had been surprised when Jared told me the person in question was only two, but I couldn't imagine a better big brother for her than Quil. I had always wanted an older brother. I guess if I wanted to, I could give some of these guys the title of the brother I never had. Maybe. If only I could build up enough confidence to get to know them better.

"Kim?" I turned to see who had spoken, and saw with a slight shock that it was a rather remorseful looking Sam.

"Yes?" I asked hesitantly, unsure.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" I nodded, feeling a little curious and nervous about why he would want to talk to me. I watched as Sam nodded at Jared; I didn't turn fast enough to see Jared's response. Sam walked back into the house, and I made to follow him. Jared tried to follow me, but I had the feeling Sam wanted to talk to me alone.

"No, it's OK, Jared, you can stay. I'll be fine."

"Kim," Jared said indignantly.

"You know more about what this is about than I do! He wants to talk to me alone; I can tell."

I released his hand, and he sighed. "I wasn't joking about those handcuffs, you know."

"Handcuffs?" Jacob interrupted, looking from me to Jared interestedly.

I grinned at Jared. He didn't look very overjoyed at me and Sam talking alone. I didn't know why it felt like such a big deal to me. But it did.

"I'm sure you weren't," I replied, and kissed him on the cheek. I then walked towards the house, ready for the explanation I hadn't realised until now I had been waiting for.


	15. Happy Ever After

**I really don't know how to say this... this is the last chapter. And I totally mean it this time. I've gone as far as I can go with this fic, and I just want to thank everyone who supported me in writing it the whole way through. For those of you who left me ideas, I'm fully encouraging you to make them into your own Kim and Jared fic (or Jim fic, as I like to call it now!!), because they really don't get enough attention. Let me know about them and of course I'll read them!! Oh by the way, Bible Chick, your story rocks (my darn computer keeps going crazy everytime i try to leave a review, so i'm saying it now - keep writing!) There will be more notes at the end, but for now i hope you think i did the end of this story justice - it took aaaaaages to get it right. Enjoy xxxx**

* * *

"So…"

The atmosphere was tense, and a little awkward. I was still smothered by the feeling that Sam didn't like me. It was something I had gotten used to, so I didn't know how to be comfortable around him, how to be myself. Sam also looked uncomfortable, yet remorseful. I wondered whether this apology was obligatory, or whether he was actually sorry for his behaviour towards me. I gave out to myself for being paranoid.

"Look, I just want to… apologise," Sam began, taking a deep breath. I nodded, starting to fidget. This was ridiculous. He shouldn't have to apologise for not liking me. It was up to him; all I could do was be who I was. It wasn't his fault I wasn't someone he could get along with, and like. It was just life.

"It's OK, Sam, seriously," I interrupted, surprising both of us. I didn't often say much in front of him.

"No, it's not." He held up his hand, indicating that I shouldn't interrupt again. I fell silent, and waited.

"I was uneasy about someone else imprinting. I was afraid you would get hurt by hanging around with all of us, because for instance Paul has some temper on him… and, as werewolves, we're highly unpredictable, and sometimes dangerous. I also didn't want you getting hurt, like Emily, and all of us getting some kind of reputation as being people to be avoided, when all we're trying to do is rid the vampires from this town. We're just trying to do the right thing."

Sam had begun to pace as he spoke. I listened, understanding everything so far, a little surprised that it had been concern for me that had resulted in this. But I guess I never really thought much about it. I just assumed he didn't like me, and my shy instincts forbade me from talking to him. I almost rolled my eyes at myself. I always had an excuse.

"And then there was Emily," Sam continued, and he swallowed. "I was worried that if Jared got upset with you, you might get hurt the same way she did. But Jared wasn't very happy about this. He said he wasn't me, and he said he'd never do anything to hurt you. Which is exactly what I said when I first imprinted, but even the best of us make mistakes." His eyes were filled with sadness, and I felt a rush of sorrow for him. He really did regret that, every single day.

"No one blames you for that," I said softly.

"Well, they should," Sam said, a little harshly. "It's my fault she's scarred like that."

"You never did that intentionally, and everyone knows it. Emily forgives you, she doesn't resent you. You have to let go of the past, Sam, because it only distracts you from the present," I said, remembering how I had let that happen. I was still so caught up on the fact that Jared had never shown any interest in me before he imprinted, so that the day he finally told me he loved me, I walked away from him. And I had wasted precious moments when I could have just been with him.

Sam looked like he was thinking about what I had said, so I let him be. I no longer felt uncomfortable around him, or uneasy in any way. He'd just been trying to do the right thing, and just went about it in slightly the wrong way.

"Anyway…" Sam said, coming out of his reverie. "I'm sorry I was kind of hostile towards you. That was unfair."

"It's cool, Sam," I said, offering him a tentative smile. "It's OK."

He smiled back.

* * *

The day past in a blur of colours and sounds. It was the first time I had ever really just had fun with the pack, and Emily of course; messing around, winding each other up, laughing at each other's funny stories. It was the first time I felt like I belonged there. I observed everyone, fascinated by how wide and captivated Quil's eyes became when he told us what mischief Claire had gotten up to next, how easily Jacob was able to wind Paul up, how Jared refused to leave my side all night, always either holding my hand or wrapping his arm protectively around my waist. The most memorable part of the night was probably when Emily and I were serenaded.

"I want to imprint on someone," Paul was moaning, throwing dark looks at Sam and Emily, then Jared and I, and finally Quil.

"Don't worry, there's a very high chance you'll find your other half," Embry was saying. "Just make sure you don't frighten her off with your 'charm'," he said, symbolising the inverted commas with his fingers.

Paul spared him a look of disdain, before turning back to Sam. "Seriously, though - what is it like?"

"How could you not know - you can hear each other's thoughts," Emily interrupted.

"Yeah, but I don't get what's so big about it," Paul grumbled.

"You're a little ray of sunshine, aren't you?" Jacob asked him.

"Well," Jared said loudly, drawing everyone's attention to him. I looked up at him, my eyes wide. "When I'm with Kim, I finally know what Aerosmith are singing about." He smiled at me, and to my absolute horror and disbelief, started singing. Badly.

"_I don't wanna close my eyes_," he began, ignoring Jacob, Paul, Quil and Embry as they fell about laughing. "_I don't wanna fall asleep, 'cos I'll miss you baby, and I don't wanna miss a thing_…"

"Jared!" I hissed, half-laughing, half-dying of embarrassment. And then Sam joined in, directing his song at Emily, who was shaking with laughter.

"'_Cos even when I dream of you… the sweetest dream would never do - I'd still miss you, babe, and I don't wanna miss a thing…_"

Jared finished the last word on a high note, before joining in with the chorus of laughter. He had no sense of embarrassment at all, as usual. He pulled me closer to him and kissed my forehead, while I blushed furiously. I could honestly say I had never expected to be sung to at any point in my life. But I couldn't help laughing.

"That was… that was… that was…" Jacob could barely speak he was laughing so much, tears in his eyes. "That was… just atrocious."

"Don't be jealous, Jacob, just because you can't sing," Jared said, grinning widely.

"That was supposed to be singing?"

"Oh, just humour him, Jacob," I said, snuggling closer to Jared's side, also grinning. I gazed up at him; his eyes sparkled with the adoration he always saved for me. I felt utterly content. _This_ was how my life should be. I wanted to have fun, like this, instead of feeling crippled by my shyness, self-conscious and terrified of speaking up in case they thought I was stupid. And I felt completely comfortable with this small selection of the pack, the way I should be. They could be my friends too.

We both grinned at each other at the same time. It struck me in that moment how incredibly lucky I was. I could be sitting at home, still daydreaming about being with Jared, but instead I was with him. And I knew he loved me, and I knew I was high on the list of his priorities, maybe even at number one. Jared and I were an entity, and I wouldn't let anything, not even myself, break us into two pieces.

"Jared, man," Embry's voice interrupted my thought process, and Jared dragged his eyes away from my face. "Can I ask you a question, because I'm slightly confused?"

"When are you ever _not_ confused, Embry?" Jacob interrupted this time, raising his eyebrows at Embry.

"I would shut your face Jacob, if you know what's good for you."

"Whoa, touchy."

"What's your question, Embry?" Jared asked, grinning.

"Are you leaving the pack?"

The atmosphere became a little tense, and all eyes turned to Jared. He appeared surprised at the question, but before he could open his mouth, I answered for him.

"No, he's not." I blushed as all eyes turned to me instead, including Jared's. There was a short silence. I avoided everyone else's eyes, and focussed on Jared's. They were amused. "You're not," I said, to him alone. He nodded, and the sense of relief washing over me was immense. Thank God. He belonged to this pack, and I would not let him leave it because of me.

"Oh no," Jacob sighed. Everyone's attention turned to him. He shook his head at Jared sadly. "I hate to say it Jared, but I think you're whipped."

Jared just laughed, and I shrugged. The tense atmosphere lifted.

I didn't want to leave. But when the sky slowly made the transition from day to night, I reluctantly decided to head home. I was exhausted anyway, and if my mother had realised I had snuck out, I needed to prepare for battle. Jared noticed my non-too-subtle yawns, and he practically dragged me home. The werewolves, and Emily, all bade me a fond goodbye, and for the first time, I looked forward to seeing them all again. I knew the next time I saw them I wouldn't feel awkward or anything. They were my friends now too.

The walk back through the forest was silent, apart from Jared whistling the Aerosmith song. He held my hand tightly the whole way back to my house. My window was still open, and we climbed through it. I half expected my mother to be waiting in the darkness for me to return, but my room was empty. I crept down the hall to check if she was asleep, and her room was dark. I wondered if she had just ignored me all day, and hadn't realised I was gone, or if she did but just decided she'd handle it in the morning. She would have waited up for me, if she had noticed I was gone. I was too tired to dwell on it further.

I went back to my room, where Jared was already sprawled out over my bed. He beckoned to me, an almost irresistible invitation, but I resisted.

"I _really_ need a shower," I said. "Shouldn't you go home for one, and change your clothes?" I asked him. He made a face.

"I don't care if my clothes get so dirty they start growing legs. I'm not letting you out of my sight."

I paused. "You do know you aren't watching me in the shower, yeah?" I asked him, not sure whether to be serious or joking. A wicked grin spread across Jared's face.

"Ah, Kim, I got my hopes up high and everything," he said, faking devastation.

"Sorry to dash your fantasy," I said, rolling my eyes. "But if I get out of this shower and you're still here and still not clean, I'm not going near you." I left the room, ignoring whatever Jared was mumbling about persuading me otherwise.

The shower was bliss. The warm water washed away the traces of the past two days, soothing my still-aching muscles in my legs. I was finally alone for the first time since Jared found me, _really_ alone to think without being interrupted. I shuddered, feeling chilled despite the warm water, when I thought of the life I would have had if Jared had never found me.

I regretted the decision to leave with everything I had. I had thought it through at the time, but not enough. There was so much I was tied to here, and some of those ties I did not want to sever. I hadn't spared a thought for anyone else, not really. I remembered Jared's expression when he mentioned finding the note. Pained. But I knew how I would feel if I entered my bedroom now and found a note from Jared, saying he was leaving and wasn't coming back. I would collapse, and I don't think I'd ever get back up.

He found the strength to follow me and bring me home. That was the difference between Jared and me. If he wanted to go, I would let him, even if it killed me, because that was what he wanted. I didn't want to be the reason for anyone's unhappiness. But if I wanted to go, he would do everything in his power to make sure I stayed. He fought for what he loved. I didn't fight. I let things happen.

Well, that was it. I liked to think that if I did find that note from Jared, that I could get up and follow him, and keep searching for him until he was found. Just like he would do for me. I didn't want to be weak anymore.

I stepped out of the shower, my mind full of determination. I wanted to be a strong person. I had spent the majority of my life in the shadows, and now I wanted to shine.

I dried myself and pulled on pyjamas, and crept back to my bedroom. There was still nothing but silence coming from my mother's room, so I deduced she must still be asleep. I rolled my eyes at Jared, who was still stretched out on the bed, looking as though he hadn't moved.

"I told you I wasn't leaving," he said, in response to my raised eyebrows.

I opened my mouth, about to nag at him, when an immense sadness washed over me. It took a moment to realise where it had suddenly come from. He didn't trust me not to leave again.

"What is it?" Concerned by the sudden change in my expression, Jared was off the bed and holding my two hands in his in seconds, studying my hazel eyes. I gazed at him sadly.

"You don't trust me," I mumbled.

"Of course I do!" Jared exclaimed, his expression flickering between different emotions.

"You don't, not really. You're afraid I'll leave again," I said, watching his eyes for any hint that I was right. His eyes grew sad, like mine.

"It's not that I don't trust you, Kim, 'cos I do. It's just… I'm afraid to leave, in case you vanish again."

I felt even more upset. I could feel the tears getting themselves prepared.

"Don't cry," he said, pulling me into a hug. I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to prevent the tears, and buried my face in his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Jared," I said, my voice a little muffled. "I never should have left. And I'm not leaving ever again; please trust me when I say that."

"OK," he whispered against my hair. I felt a little relief, that at least he was listening to me, and I could detect nothing that suggested he was still unsure. I hugged him tightly, breathing in his scent. We stayed like that for a while, and then he pulled away. In the annoying habit of his, he lifted me into his arms and carried me over to the bed.

"You need to sleep," he said, tucking me under the covers. I yawned almost as if on cue, agreeing with him; I didn't feel like I had slept well in ages. Jared lay next to me, lost in his own thoughts again. I wanted to ask him what he was thinking, but I felt myself succumbing to the drowsiness that was engulfing me.

I snuggled up to Jared's side and let myself slip into unconsciousness.

* * *

I woke up slowly, lazily. The bed felt even more comfortable than usual. I had missed it. But something was missing. Without opening my eyes, I stretched my arm out, waiting to find the familiar warmth of Jared's skin. But all I could find was empty space. Panic started to rise slowly with in me, as I was unable to find him. And then my hand closed around something crinkly, something unfamiliar. I opened my eyes.

A small bouquet of roses lay on the bed next to me. I blinked at them a couple of times. I sat up slowly, a smile beginning to spread across my face. They were pink roses, and they were so pretty. A little card was attached to the transparent wrapping paper, so I opened it, recognising Jared's handwriting straight away.

_Eleven of these roses are real, and one of them is fake. I will love you until the twelfth rose dies. _

My smile widened, as I understood what he was saying; the fake rose would never die. A movement out of the corner of my eye caused me to look up; Jared was leaning against the wall, watching me, grinning.

"You're so adorable it's frightening," I told him, and he laughed. He strolled over to the bed and lay down next to me on his front, moving the roses onto the floor as he did so. He leant over me, and my heart around jumped as he kissed me gently. He pulled away much sooner than I would have liked, but something about his expression distracted me. He was up to something, I could tell. I watched him suspiciously, as he reached into his jeans pocket.

He held out a tiny black velvet box to me. I stared at it, confused. And then it dawned on me what it was. It was a ring box. I gazed up into his eyes, my eyes wide, my heart jumping around erratically. He was beaming.

"I'm about to get even cuter," he said, and opened the little box. I gasped. I couldn't help it. A gorgeous sapphire stone, surrounded by tiny diamonds, rested on a delicate band of silver. It was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen.

"I figured…" Jared began, and my eyes tore themselves away from the ring to meet his. "I figured that you'd prefer this to a big huge diamond, because now on the rare occasions that I won't be with you, you have something to remind you of me."

Typically, I felt my eyes begin to well up. This was totally unexpected, but my love for Jared overwhelmed me; I was really, really lucky to have someone like him.

"You couldn't have given me anything more perfect, or beautiful," I said, trying desperately not to cry. Jared took the ring out of the box and slid it onto my wedding finger. I simply stared at my hand, watching the diamonds sparkle in the light of the sun shining through my window. I looked up at Jared, whose eyes were reflections of the adoration and happiness in mine.

He kissed me again, this time more fiercely. I wrapped my arms around his warm neck, unable to describe how happy I felt. He kissed me until I was breathless, and had to break away.

"I love you," I said, when I could talk.

"Me too," he replied. "Forever," he added, and winked at me.

_The End_

* * *

**;) hope you liked it. xxxxxxx**

If you're feeling a bit depressed now it's over, i'm really sorry - there's over a hundred people on the story alert list, and i absolutely hate letting any of ye down, but i think i would wreck the story if i took it any further. It's kind of a case of quitting while i'm ahead. BUT, there is still always Jared's Side, and even though you might have prefered this one, i'm going to update that right until the end also, so if you're interested. If anyone wants to request that i write a story in maybe a different werewolf's POV, i'll defo consider it!! I quite lurrrve the imprinting stories now. Just need inspiration... heheh. ALSO, i might go back and rewrite some of Kim's earlier chapters, but you won't have to keep going back and reading it again, no major info will change, it'll just be me fixing sentences that i don't like and maybe adding something that just occurred to me... nothing major. Oh, in your reviews, some of you mentioned Kim's mother - if you want to know her reaction to Kim leaving, it will be mentioned in Jared's side, which will be updated...errr... in the near future!! So, again, thank you so much for reading. Every review has meant the world. I'm sending you all out a big hug and a wink from Jared. xxxxx

Reviewees who blew me away during this whole thing (and in no particular order, so as not to offend anyone!!): Mimzie and Angeldivachic (of course!!), ceerjaeb, Bookflower, carconee, Ariel, sarah, Arlannah3, Love Tinkerbella, Twilghtfan78 (i needed an inhaler too!), shadowgirl61, candelifera, EclipseoftheTwilightMoon, soccerchick, Pendragon2... and loads loads loads more - too many for my brain to remember, but that SOOOO does NOT mean i don't luurrrrve your encouragement and gawjus reviews. I love ye all, seriously. The reviews have been better than i ever expected and probably deserve. xxx

In your review, please let me know what you thought of the story in general too, as well as this chapter. Thanks a million for reading and reviewing. YOU ALL ROCK LURRRRRVE TO EVERYONE!! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX :)


	16. Epilogue

**I can practically hear you all rolling your eyes and thinking: "Jaysus, would the girl ever just say she's finished and actually BE finished?!" - I know, I know, I'm terrible. But someone requested an epilogue, and the idea stuck, and I think I've loose ends to tie up, and I'm sure there won't be any complaints. There's a good bit of detail in this chapter, for those who were searching for it. Oh, and the reviews…….. Wow. To those of you who said they were_ crying_, it's like OMG, I want to cry too. It's an amazing compliment, and I'm sorry I made you cry!! I love you all loads. If there are questions, feel free to PM me. Oh, and by the by, i think my next project will be an Emily and Sam story, but i'm defo considering all the other suggestions i was given - more than i expected!!** **Lurrve xxxxxxxx**

* * *

_Four Years Later…_

I sat on my windowsill, looking up at the dazzling blue sky, lost in my own thoughts. The sun gently heated the glass I was leaning against, and I watched the fluffy clouds form individual shapes, while I tried to compare them to something I was familiar with. There was one that vaguely looked like a hedgehog, and I found myself easily amused.

I was waiting for Jared. He had gone home, to run errands and pick up other things he had forgotten to pack and do whatever he had to do; trivial things that he didn't need help with. It was hard for me sometimes, not to invite myself along; I bored easily when I was alone. But I couldn't be permanently attached to his side; I had to at least make out like I was sane, and I wasn't still infatuated with him.

Nothing had changed much, in the last few years. I had thought, once I got over the teenage years and the hormones, that things would become routine for Jared and I. But here I was, twenty-one years old, and I still felt dizzy when he kissed me, still felt on the point of collapse when he winked at me, and my heart still accelerated when he stood too close. I was still crazy about him.

The diamonds on my engagement ring reflected the sun into my eyes, so I moved my hand away from the light. There were no immediate plans yet to get married; neither of us were in any rush. I knew we would get married when we were both ready, and the ring was just a symbol of how we belonged to each other. I still got funny looks from people in college, who probably thought it crazy, me being engaged so young, but that was their opinion.

I didn't want anyone else. I looked past the other guys in my class as though they were transparent. I couldn't imagine being without Jared, and being with someone else; the idea was foreign to me, and it didn't make sense. My life had been so dull and depressing before him, because I couldn't find that place I was looking for. And then it had become an 'Along Came Jared' fairytale, where he had completely turned my life around. The people in college… they just didn't understand how much he meant to me, and how little traditions and conventions meant to either of us.

College was… different. It was a shocking dose of reality and normality; in college, there were no such things as werewolves and imprinting. It was just your average people, working, studying, learning, and my first few days contained me wandering around in a daze, feeling a little confused. Reality and fiction were separated by a very thin, permeable line, in my mind.

I was studying English, entertaining notions of maybe writing a book one day (I certainly had a lot of material to go on). Jared was doing Art, an easy choice for him, although he was convinced it wouldn't get him anywhere, and he didn't want a job anyway. He kept saying he was dedicating his life to making me happy. I kept saying I'd feel a hell of a lot happier if we both had something that would keep us out of debt.

Neither of us were really that concerned, with future careers. I had watched my mom kill herself day after day at important jobs, and although I was eternally grateful to her for earning the money to put food on the table, it had lost my enthusiasm for having a job. As long as I had Jared, I wasn't the least bit interested or concerned in my career. I would willingly work anywhere that would pay me.

College was a chore; both of us were in different classes, and I still hadn't mastered the whole 'making new friends' thing. I was quiet, I was shy, but I was interesting; the large engagement ring on my finger, like I said, attracted a lot of glances, and eventually, questions. There were a few people now that spoke to me everyday, just casual conversation, so maybe I was getting a little better at interacting with others.

Outside of college, life was pretty amazing. I hung out with the pack regularly; Emily had become my best friend, besides Jared of course, and some of the best laughs of my life included people from the pack in some way. Jared still spoiled me insistently, surprising me when I least expected it.

I had finally come clean to my mother about Jared being a werewolf. I thought myself insane at the time, believing she would never believe me in a million years, and think I'd been brainwashed by a cult, but I had been surprised. I still didn't think she fully believed me, but she'd been mollified a little by Billy Black, who she was introduced to at my surprise party that Jared had thrown me for my twenty-first.

She loved Jared. She thought he was 'some man for one man', as she put it. She could see he clearly adored me, and saw how incredibly happy he made me, and she fully approved of the engagement ring on my finger. I remembered the morning after he had given it to me, how she had reacted a little… er… over the top, thinking I was pregnant, but she understood now. She wanted me to be happy, and nothing made me happier than Jared.

My eyes found themselves wandering around my room, gazing at all the cardboard boxes. My room was pretty much packed up; all I needed to do was tackle whatever demons lurked under the bed, what forgotten items had grown their own cities in the darkness and isolation.

I was finally moving out. It had been quite a scary decision, but I had finally found the courage to take a deep breath and say yes to Jared, who had proposed the idea. There were many reasons I had been scared. I hadn't wanted to step away from what was familiar, to seek the unknown; something I thought I had gotten over. I didn't like the thought of leaving my mother in that old bungalow, all alone. My mother was a lot like me; she didn't socialise with new people much. However, she had all but pushed me out of the front door, telling me I needed to start my life, and not to worry about hers any longer. She had just warned me that I better not arrive at her door one day, pregnant, but not married yet, which had made me blush.

There had been another factor in me being afraid to move in with Jared. We would really be, like… _alone_. There would be no sleeping mother a few rooms away. I wasn't sure how I would react to this, or more pressingly, how Jared would react to this, and I didn't really want to find out. Yet, I wanted to find out. And I was sure, when I was torn between two minds, that it mightn't be a wise decision.

But after thinking about it, I started imagining Jared and I arguing playfully over whose turn it was to do the washing, or just curled up on the couch together watching TV, or deciding on what colour to paint the kitchen, and I wanted that. I wanted all that stuff that other couples might take for granted, living together. So I had said yes.

Jared's parents hadn't reacted much when he said he was moving out. Jared had been nonchalant about it, but I could tell it bothered him. He had tried to introduce me to them many times, but they had always found some excuse that they would use to cancel. This upset him, which upset me. They were too concerned with their careers. Another reason Jared wasn't keen on choosing a definite career; in case it became his life. I could see though, how secretly delighted he was to get away from them, and he told me he could think of nowhere better than moving in with me.

So we were moving in together. Today, in fact. Jared had forgotten some stuff back at his house, which is where he was now, and I was supposed to clear out under the bed, and label all my boxes. I sighed, and turned my attention back to the beautiful blue sky. I felt a little nervous, which was ridiculous, since I wasn't about to commit a crime or anything. I was just moving in with my fiancé.

A sudden knock on the window frightened the life out of me. It was Jared, a rucksack slung over his shoulder, grinning at my shocked expression. My heart was pounding. I glanced up at the clock; once again I had let my daydreaming get out of control, and had sat at the window much longer than I had planned on doing. Jared blew me a kiss, before swaggering off towards the front of the house. He didn't come in though the window anymore (just at night), not now that my mother adored the sight of him.

I jumped up the minute he was out of sight, grabbing the discarded black marker off the floor and quickly scribbling names on the boxes… clothes… shoes… CDs… books… I listened as I heard Mom and Jared laughing over something, and his footsteps coming closer to my room… I threw the marker away and sat down quickly on the windowsill again, trying to look as though I hadn't moved.

"You frightened the crap out of me just then," I informed him, as he strolled into the room, dumping his bag on the floor.

"Well, if you weren't in Dreamland, you would have seen me coming," he replied, examining the almost illegible labels on the boxes. "You didn't do a thing when I was gone, did you?" he asked, pretending to sigh in exasperation. I shrugged and shook my head. He came over and sat on the windowsill next to me, and put his arm around me.

"Did you get everything you forgot?" I asked him, trying to ignore my heart's reaction to his touch.

"I'm pretty sure I did, unless I forgot about something that I forgot."

"_Right_. Makes sense."

"Yes, it does. Did you clear out under the bed?"

"No," I groaned.

"Ah, Kim. It can't be that bad. I'll make a start." He got up, and knelt down on the floor beside the bed. I laughed at the fake terror on his face. He stuck his head underneath it. "Ah, sure it's not that bad at all. There's nothing… Aargh!" He yelled out loud as Chaos, my cat, streaked out from under the bed and shot out of the room. I stared at his surprised and shocked expression for a minute, before exploding into giggles. He grinned, running his fingers through his hair.

"Jesus. Are you storing anymore bloody animals under there?!"

I couldn't speak for laughing.

* * *

I hugged my mother goodbye as Jared shoved the last of the boxes into the car. She was tearing up and trying not to show it, which only triggered a similar reaction in me.

"I'll call you tonight," I said, pulling away and smiling a little sadly.

"OK," she said. "But don't you start hassling me with phone calls. I'll be fine. You don't have to worry about me."

"She will anyway," Jared interjected. I rolled my eyes. My mother beamed over at him.

"You take care of my daughter now, won't you?" she asked him.

"I always do," he said, winking at her. He jumped into his car.

I gave my mom another hug, before turning around and climbing into Jared's car. He took hold of my hand when he saw how sad I was. I still didn't like the thought of leaving her behind, all on her own.

"You can visit her whenever you want," he said, and I smiled at him. He started the engine and she waved us off.

* * *

The house Jared had found us was a small bungalow not far from college. It was a lot like the one I had just left, although it was less dilapidated. It wasn't much, but it was perfect. I didn't want some fancy apartment, and I could tell he didn't want another house like the one he had just left, so we were both extremely happy with it.

He insisted on carrying me over the threshold.

"Jared, you'd only do that if we were married," I protested.

"I know. But now we're going to bend the rules," he said, and scooped me up into his arms. I sighed. He bounded in the front door and jumped onto the couch, so I found myself sitting across his lap. I rested my head on his shoulder as I looked around our new house. We didn't have much furniture at all; just a couch, a bed and a table with two chairs. But I couldn't find it in me to care. I didn't care if I was sitting in a cardboard box, as long as if Jared was in there with me.


End file.
